


Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep

by Vittra



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren is a Mess, Rey is Nobody (Star Wars), Rey is a Mess (Star Wars), Slow Burn, Tros didn’t happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:02:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 32,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27063844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vittra/pseuds/Vittra
Summary: The mighty master of Ren, the Jedi killer, the heir of Darth Vader, just stands there, watching her sleep, like a kriffing creep.“Fuck”, he whispers, “fuck, fuck, fuck”.Or the one where Luke does train Rey, Rey doesn’t post her self to the Supremacy and the one where Kylo Ren watches her sleep more than once.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 203
Kudos: 254
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I had never read a fanfic before the train wreck that was TROS, but desperate for a story that actually made sense, I turned to google and found Ao3. I’ve read story after story, and in their own way they all make better sense than JJ Adams attempt to trash a story harder than the last season of GoT. I promised myself I wouldn’t start to write on my own, but here we are! This is my first fic, and English isn’t my first language, so please be gentle with me. 
> 
> In my universe Poe did screw it up with the bombers, but the Resistance then successfully reached Crait without interruptions from the First order. Snoke is not pleased with Kylo, and Kylo is indeed his fathers son. 
> 
> The title is a line from System of a Down’s “Toxicity”, a band I’m pretty sure Kylo Ren would love.

He’s desperate to sleep. Every fiber in his body cries for it, but his mind just won’t shut down. His father dies in front of his eyes again and again, and memories the girl, the fucking girl, plays whenever he tries to forget the face of a dying Han Solo. He knows he should try to figure out  why  the Force connects them, but instead he finds himself focusing on the smallest of details. Her voice. Her blush. Her expression in the rain.  
“FUCK!”.  
He sits up to get out of the bed, when the ever present sound of engines disappears, and the mattress dips. She’s right there. Sleeping. In his kriffing bed.

He scrambles to his feet, reaching for his saber. He should kill her. Right now. His thumb hover over the ignition as he turns around and he... remembers the scared boy who woke up to the sound of a light saber. She sleeps curled up, with her knees practically drawn up to her chin and with a ragged, worn out, blanket covering every inch of her, but her nose and eyes. Is she scared? Or cold?

No, no, no, she’s about to be dead, her body temperature really isn’t an issue, just light her up. 

He doesn’t.

The mighty master of Ren, the Jedi killer, the heir of Darth Vader, just stands there, watching her sleep, like a kriffing creep.

“Fuck”, he whispers, “fuck, fuck, fuck”.


	2. Chapter 2

Master Luke has, after some aggressive negotiations with Leia over the comm system of the Falcon, reluctantly agreed to teach Rey. She’s was handed a book, “The Jedi Code”, and was left alone to read it. She opens it and on the first page she finds, surprise surprise, the Jedi Code:

_There is no emotion, there is peace.  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._  
_There is no passion, there is serenity.  
There is no chaos, there is harmony._  
_There is no death, there is the Force._

She reads it aloud a few times, testing it out. No wonder he didn’t end up being a Jedi; he’s everything but serene, he basically  _ is  _ chaos and... she’s thinking about him again.  
“Kriff”.

She’s been reading, or at least trying to, all day when Luke approaches her.  
“Rey”.  
“Master Skywalker”.  
“Do you mind sharing your thoughts?”.  
Rey freezes.  
“My... thoughts?”.  
“Yes, child, on the book?”.  
“OH! The book!”, why is she such an idiot?, “the book’s... informative?”.  
“Yes, it’s thousands of years of Jedi knowledge boiled down to one book. I am quite proud really”.  
She can positively feel her brain processing his words. She closes the book and asks:  
“You wrote this?”.  
“Look at the back”.  
She turns the book over.  
“You did write it!”.  
“Yes, I thought it would be a good foundation for my students. The original texts is quite... heavy.”  
“You must have spent ages with this!”.  
“Yes, yes, it took me many years, and I traveled all over the galaxy. I used to...”.  
“‘Used to’ what?”.  
“I used to bring Ben”.  
They fall silent for a moment. But she’s never been one for keeping her curiosity in check, and she just has to know.  
“Did he agree... with all of this”, she asks, gesturing at the title.  
“Ben?”, Skywalkers laughs bitterly, “not one bit. The boy was an walking emotion”. 

Rey tries to picturing him; lanky and pouting, with the stupid little padawan braid over one shoulder, boiling with barely contained rage. Rey has to swallow a snort when she realizes he hasn’t really changed, he’s just gotten a better hair cut.

“Anyways”, Skywalker interrupts her line of thought, “I’m not so sure about about ‘all of this’ either, not anymore, which is why I came here, as I told you, to let the Jedi religion die with me. But Leia can be, you know,  _Leia_ , and I’ve promised to teach you what I know. The Jedi way may not be the right way, but it’s the only way I know - it’ll be up to you to chose your own path when the time comes. If you choose to be a Jedi, this book, and myself, will guide you”. Luke inhales sharply, as if he’s never spoken so many words in a row before.  
“Thank you, Master Skywalker. I won’t let you down”.  
His eyes are kind, and maybe a bit sad, when he pats her hand.  
“I know you won’t”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m pretty sure Chewie had to carry Luke onboard the Falcon.


	3. Chapter 3

“My apprentice”, the Supreme leader greets Kylo as he enters the throne room. Kylo falls down on one knee, eyes locked at the floor.  
“You’re a utter failure”, Snoke continues, “losing the droid, the girl, the map. You’re a shadow of your potential”.  
“I failed you, Supreme leader, please allow me to make it right”.  
“All in due time, young one, first you must be reminded of the power of the Dark side”.  
“Of course Master, thank you”.

He is a shaking mess when he gets back to his quarters. He winches as he pulls his tunic and undershirt off. Everything hurts, everything. But he didn’t break and the memory of her eyelashes fanning over her cheeks is still just his. He thinks about calling in a medical droid but he crashes on his bed, and slides into oblivion.

✨

She’s just gotten into bed, well, it’s a stone bench with dried grass for a mattress, when everything shifts. She sits up and waits for their realities to fuse, and where her bench should end there’s now a bed and on it lies Kylo Ren. He’s not really  in  his bed, he’s just splayed out, on his stomach, like a rag doll, on top of the covers with his feet dangling over the edge. His boots is still on. And his pants. Everything else is either pale skin, tangled hair or bleeding cuts running all over his back. Kriffing hell, what’s happened? And why should she care? She could kill him, this instant, and it would be the best for the Resistance, for her, and, let’s face it, probably for him as well. But it’s hardly the Jedi way to kill someone when they’re passed out. No, compassion is the way of the Jedi, and that’s Luke’s words, not hers, thank you very much. She reaches out to see if she can feel his bed, and it turns out that she can. She crawls over, down to his feet and starts to untie his ridiculously heavy boots. When she drops them they disappear and lands, with a thud, on the floor of a space ship millions of light years away. Next she reaches for her bag, at the bottom of her bed, and pulls out a bacta patch. She uses her finger to scoop up bacta from it and kind of drizzles it over his back. She doesn’t kriffing touch him, not even once. He remains motionless, thank the Force. When she’s done she crawls over to her bench, and lies back down. She watches him sleep until he’s gone - what else was she supposed to do?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both of them is awake! In the same room! They share a moment of 100 % constructive communication.

He doesn’t see her for days, and he starts to wonder if he ever will. He carries on as he always does, he reads, tosses some trooper across the room, chokes Hux, bends the knee in front of the Supreme leader and trains until he can’t think. 

Because he can’t think, he doesn’t notice her appearing in his training hall, instead he just keeps on maiming training droids.  
“Do you even know how much I would get for those?”.  
He spins around. She’s standing there, as solid as anything else in the room. And she’s pissed off.  
“Why don’t you tell me?”.  
Force, is he relived to see her? He walks a bit closer, totally forgetting about the droids.  
“Well, I don’t even know because there wasn’t a single new droid on all of Jakku! And you’re just trashing them!”.  
“They are training droids”, no, he’s definitely not relived, he’s _annoyed_. But then again, that realization makes him relived. Who the fuck knows what he’s feeling, or cares for that matter.  
“You could use them for longer if you didn’t cut them to pieces with your angry little sword”.  
“My what now?”, he stalks towards her, with his ignited saber still in hand.  
She puts her chin up and when they’re face to face, inches apart, she repeats:  
“Your angry little _silly_ sword”.  
He roars, as a, some-what-still-functioning, droid shots him straight in his thigh. Rey actually starts to giggle. He spins around and uses the force to pull the droid to it’s end, meeting it with a swift stroke from his saber. He bends to examine the wound, it’s not too deep but it’ll need plenty of bacta. He turns back towards her again, ready to give her a proper introduction of his “silly sword”, but she’s gone.  
“Fuck you, scavenger”, he breathes, and calls in three new droids. He methodically, but violently, cuts them up into the smallest of pieces, making sure they’ll never be used for anything ever again. If he knew where she kriffing was, he would wrap this useless heap of metal and molten wires up and send it to her. In his mind her face scrunches up, bearing her teeth like a wild animal, cursing him in at least ten different languages, as she opens the package. Honestly, she does look quite nice as she rages, he’ll give her that.


	5. Chapter 5

Luke drills her. The saber forms comes naturally, as if she’d always known them, but the kriffing mediation! Luke sits for hours with crossed legs, closed eyes and a completely blank face. He can’t be bother by rain, wind, flies or what ever nature throws at him. Rey tries, she really does, but not only does the worldly aspects bother her, her own mind is completely useless at “becoming one with the universe” as well. What does that even mean? She has no idea what she’s looking for and Luke won’t tell her either. “Close your eyes, clear your mind and open your heart”, he tells her, over and over. So she closes her eyes, and she pretends to reach what ever state she’s supposed to reach, but she’s not becoming one with anything, instead she’s thinking about the war, her friends, her parents, even Unkar kriffing Plutt at one point, but above all else she’s thinking about the boy who grew up to be Kylo Ren. Was he lost from the start? How could a child with parents such as the General and Han fall to the dark side? With Luke _Skywalker_ as his uncle? How could they miss the influence of Snoke? Or was all of Kylo’s darkness his own, and Snoke just the only one who accepted it? But she saw him tremble at the bridge, didn’t she, surely he’s not completely lost? Right? Then again, he did kill his father in the end, trembling or not. And he’s obviously a nut case, completely unhinged...  
“Child, I don’t know where your mind’s at, but it’s certainly not letting the Force flow through”.  
“Forgive me, Master, I’m having a hard time focusing”.  
“You’ll get there, just keep on trying. But for now, let’s take a break. I’m sure Chewie would enjoy some company”. 

She lies on her back on her rock hard bed, thinking about Kylo’s soft mattress with thick covers and how those perks alone might be enough to sway her to the dark side. She’d never slept in a bed, the bunk on the Falcon was the closest thing to it, and she’d been ecstatic, but now... now she fantasies about a bed big enough to roll around in, soft enough not to bruise, warm enough to keep her comfortable and... the Force has a bizarre sense of humor, because the edge of her bed once again bleeds together with his. And he’s awake, Force help her. At least he’s under his covers this time, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.  
“Scavenger”, he rumbles, “do you really think this is proper?”.  
“Screw you, Ren, you know I can’t control this”.  
“Such ferocity! Tell me, how does that work out for you? With Luke’s musings about peace and harmony?”.  
She doesn’t answer. She owns him nothing. He doesn’t need to know Luke once again tried to quit teaching her, after an incident where she actually did reach a higher consciousness, only to head straight for darkness. But if she would answer, she would tell him:  
“Not great”, oh dandy, she kriffing said it.  
He keeps on staring at his ceiling, and she does the same at hers. He sounds smug as he continues;  
“You’ve too much of everything the Light fears inside of you”.  
“I do not, I’m just new to all of this. I’ll learn”.  
“I hope not”.  
“Shut up”.  
“As you wish, Rey of Jakku, but please let me know when you’re ready for a real teacher”. He rolls over, facing away from her. She turns her head ever so slightly and she can’t help but notice that the bloody lines has healed up, merging with the other scars covering his back.  
“Don’t hold your breath”, she tells his stupid shoulders and rolls over, facing the wall of her hut. Nerfherder. A complete ass. So kriffing annoying... She soon drifts off, her back turned to her mortal enemy.

✨

He can’t believe she actually fell asleep. She’s not in his bed this time, but on a stone bench which somehow connects to his bed. She has the same blanket as before, and her knees is pulled up again. Typical Luke, nothing in life is ever allowed to be enjoyed, not even furniture. Where ever Luke is hiding, it can’t be anywhere warm, because she does look cold. Again, typical Luke, an entire galaxy full of tropical planets and he picks a miserable hellhole just to make sure he doesn’t find something he would be afraid to lose.  _If_ Kylo is to teach her someday, she can’t freeze to death before that day arrives, right? Right. He reaches for the spare blanket he never uses, and drapes it over her. He bites his lip to suppress a smile when he sees the First order logo resting on her unknowing shoulder. Someday he _will_ teach her, all he has to do is to convince the Supreme leader, and then he’ll teach her all of it, the light, the dark, the in between - she’ll become  _glorious_ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda like the idea of Kylo trying to convince himself that his interest in Rey is purely academical.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is having a rough day, and Kylo unknowingly shoots his shot.

Rey's having a really, really bad day. She'd woken up well past sunrise, warm and toasty for once, thinking she'd finally adapted to the harsh conditions of Ahch-to. She'd quickly realised that she hadn't adapted at all, she was just tucked in under at freaking First Order blanket. Her first impulse was to burn it, but her scavenger instincts had kicked in, reminding her that she only survived this long thanks to the old Empire. So she'd stuffed the blanket down in her bag, definitely not thinking about how it ended up in her possession, and left the hut to go find Luke. She did find him, which is why she's now completely miserable, since he'd decided she would spend the day running up and down the stairs.   
"Only a strong body can carry out the will of the Force", he'd said, over his shoulder, as he walked onto the Falcon for a match of Dejarik against Chewie. She was now on her third round up the stairs, mist clinging to her body, slowly soaking her. This was a total waste of time. Kriffing Luke. He was once again painfully reluctant to the idea of training her, and she figured this was her punishment for failing at meditation. He could've told her beforehand not to follow every current of the Force, couldn't he? Wasn't telling her right from wrong his actual _job_? Excellent teaching, Luke, just excellent. She shakes her head, clearing it, and forces herself to be grateful for this opportunity. Who else could show her the way? Kylo? She laughs out loud, scaring a couple of nesting porgs, and soldiers on. 

"Fear is the path to the dark side, which is why you must learn to let go of everything you fear to lose", Luke tells her back at his hut. He serves her steaming hot tea and she's drying of in front of his fire.   
"But that's impossible, Master".  
"Rey, that's not true".  
"It is".  
"Being attached to something, or someone, makes you vulnerable. The fear of losing it makes people go to extremes, not caring about the big picture, hurting others. It may very well lead you to the dark side".  
"Are you telling me to just not care?".  
"No, I'm telling you to care, but also to accept the reality and the will of the Force. Life's hard, and as a Jedi you must rise above it".  
"I'm having a hard time separating not caring and rising above it".  
"So stubborn", Luke sighs, "you sound just like..."  
She doesn't need to ask who she's reminding him about.   
"You still call him Ben".  
"I do, yes".  
"Why?"  
"I'm only familiar with Ben Solo, I've no idea who Kylo Ren is".  
"Do you think there's anything of Ben left in him?"  
Luke doesn't answer straight away. He silently glares in to the fire for so long Rey starts to think he isn't going to answer at all.  
"I think... I think we failed to recognise the Kylo in Ben". Per usual, Luke answers questions she hasn't asked and Rey is too kriffing tired to even try to make sense of it. Suddenly she can't stand another second of this Jedi bullshit and gets on her feet.   
"I'm going to bed now. Thank you for the tea, Master Skywalker".  
She stumbles out, thinking that maybe he wouldn't be a kriffing First Order bat if somebody had cared enough to go to the extremes.

✨

Is she... crying? The thrill of seeing her wrapped up in the black First Order blanket quickly melts away. What the fuck has Luke done to her? She's sitting on her bed of stone, knees close to her chest and with her face hidden in the crock of her arm. She cries silently, only her trembling shoulders gives her away. He's standing in the middle of his quarters, shifting feet, unsure if she knows he's there.  
"Scavenger...".  
She looks up, startled for just a second, and her face hardens.  
"Oh great, this again. Could you please just leave me alone?"  
"No".   
She sighs and rolls her still tear filled eyes.   
"You're upset".  
"10 points to the master of kriffing Ren".  
"Why?".  
"Why?!", the words stars to pour from her, "Maybe because I'm terrible at this whole thing! 'Don't be angry, it's the path to the dark side', 'don't care about anyone, it's the path to the dark side', 'climb the stairs and stay in the light'", the imitation of Luke makes Kylo snort, "I can't even kriffing meditate".  
"You don't have to meditate to feel the Force flowing through you, there's other ways".  
She dries her eyes on his blanket, and asks:  
"What ways?".  
She's actually asking him to teach her! It’s time to outshine Skywalker He can barely conceal his excitement when he answers:  
"Well, all you need is to loose yourself in something that doesn't leave any room for thinking".  
Her eyes grows wide.  
"Are you implying something, Ren?"  
Fuck, this went south quick enough. He needs to save this. Stat.  
"Scavenger please, don't insult me. I'm talking about fighting".  
"Oh".  
She's blushing. Oh shit, he messed this up bad but before he gets a chance to fix it she's gone. Again. Kylo throws a chair across the room, and then heads for a shower. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Solo sass, and a whole lot of Kylo angst. The last scene was the first thing I came up with before starting this fic, and I just couldn't shake it, so I just had to start writing to get it out.

Kylo is unable to stop thinking about teaching Rey. His first attempt had obviously not worked out as he wanted it to, but he felt it in his bones that she would come back for more. The thought of un-teaching her the passive crap Luke feeds her with, and instead showing her how to just grab the Force by its balls and do what ever you want with it, makes him warm inside.  
“Ren,” a shrill voice cuts through his thoughts, “are you smiling?”.  
He was most definitely not smiling, he never smiles in public. Not so often in private either to be honest.  
“You are!”  
“Only because I’m thinking about mind tricking you into undressing right here on the bridge, Hux.”  
What was it that Rebel scum had called him? The officers had been gossiping out it for days, and according to them Hux had been furious.  
“Shut up, Ren.”  
“It was you who started it, Hugs.” That’s the one!  
“You will call me by my —“  
“I’m sorry sir, and s-sir,” a young officer interrupts, “but the Supreme leader wishes to see you both”.  
“Excellent,” Kylo responses, “after you, _General_ Hugs”.  
Hux spends the entire walk through the ship whining about his new nickname. Kylo doesn’t listen, instead he’s working on his pitch; this is his chance to convince the Supreme leader to let him find Rey and take her on as his apprentice. Apprentice. It does have a ring to it, doesn’t it?

Supreme leader Snoke isn’t in a great mood. The Resistance has once again managed to disappear without a trace, Luke Skywalker is still missing and he’s quite possibly training a new Jedi.  
“He’s still disconnected from the Force,” Kylo starts, “but the girl, I can sense the girl.”  
“Yes apprentice, me too. Even if Skywalker stays wherever he’s hiding, she won’t.”  
“She’s strong with the Force, master, we could use her on our side.”  
Kylo holds his breath. General Hux looks like he’s about to say something, but he gets cut off by the Supreme leader:  
“Ah young one, I can feel a change in you. What is it?”  
Well, where to start, the Jedi sleeps next to him a few times a week through a weird force thing? Snoke wouldn’t be pleased to learn Kylo’s been withholding that kind of crucial information, so it’s probably for the best to keep on withholding it.  
“I’ve been waiting for someone to teach, master. The other knights of Ren aren’t strong enough, with the Force I mean, but the girl... she’s completely untrained but her potential...”  
“Yes yes, it was her potential which left you bleeding out in the snow, correct?”  
General Hux doesn’t even try to hide his amusement. Bastard.  
“Correct master, but in my defense I was inj—“  
“I don’t care. A master does not lose to a girl,” Snoke leans in and lowers his voice, “so it’s obvious to me you’re not ready to take on an apprentice.”  
Hux is fucking beaming.  
“You will stay on the Supremacy until I tell you otherwise. You’ll keep on training, and we won’t talk about your wish to teach until your training is complete. When you encounter the girl you will end her and the last pathetic hope of a new Jedi order with her.”  
Kylo tries to keep his face straight.  
“Did I make myself clear, apprentice?”  
“Yes Supreme leader,” he needs to get out, right now.  
“Good, good, you may leave us, I’ve some business to discuss with the general”.  
Kylo nods, leaves Hux behind and rushes towards his quarters. He can feel his blood crushing trough his head, he can’t believe he blew his one shot. Now he’ll have to fucking kill her instead of teaching her. Fuck! The moment the doors of his quarters closes behind him he starts to tear the room apart.   
  
✨  
  
His tantrums is of course well known to her, Finn used to talk about them all the time, but Rey had never witnessed one herself. She sits silently on her bench, watching him trashing what she assumes to be his room. She can see what ever object he touches, but as soon as he lets them go they disappear again. She does hear things crash tough. He looks feral, completely lost in his rage, but strangely enough it doesn't scare her. If anything she feels a bit annoyed that he once again wastes resources without restraint. After a while it seems like he's running out of things to throw, so he stops, chest heaving.  
"Fuck," he groans and he sounds positively wounded.   
"Bad day, huh?"  
He spins around and spots her, his eyes black as kriffing pits.   
"I can't do this right now."   
"Well you know the drill. Whats with the temper?"   
He's in her face in two strides.   
"Don't you understand my job is to end you, _scavenger_ ," he growls, "I should _rip_ your location straight from your pretty little brain but I..."  
He faces away from her again, visibly trying to rein himself in but without success.  
"I fucking CAN'T!", he roars as he flips a massive table.   
Okay, so he might scare her a little. She has never felt his force signature this overwhelmingly dark, not even that night in the forest.   
"Why?", her voice sounds brittle.   
He slumps down on his bed, suddenly defeated, head in his hands and with his back towards her.  
"I don't... I don't want you dead," he pauses for several seconds, "Rey."  
She gets a impulse to reach out, but she doesn't.   
"Well... thank you", she bites her lip, "Kylo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to be writing again! I've not written fiction in 10+ years, and I've never written in English. I think forcing myself to switch language is good for my performance anxiety, I know it won't be perfect so I just go "kriff it", and posts what ever my brain comes up with, instead of getting completely frozen. Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

In the next few days she doesn’t see Ren at all, which obviously is a good thing. Rey gets the opportunity to focus solely on her studies, and hopefully she’ll get the hang of things. Like meditation. Or footwork. Or to not lose her temper when Luke tells her for the billionth time that there is no emotion.

After a standard week she starts to feel restless. Luke and Chewie is nice alright, but she can’t help but feeling... _off_? Alone but crowded at the same time. She does have emotions, a lot of them to be honest, and she’s never really _fighting_ because her master thinks she too easily slips towards being offensive rather than defensive.  
“Soresu again, young one.”  
“Of course, master,” Rey falls in to position with a sigh.  
“This form carries the essence of being a Jedi,” Luke muses, ”a Jedi fights only when there is no other option, and there’s always another option.”  
Rey nods, and tries to grasp the concept of combat without the aim to win.

She’s in his training hall again, but this time he’s not fighting droids, instead he’s being beaten to death by a fellow knight. Or is he beating the knight to death? Someone certainly is dying, that’s for sure. She can’t, as usual, see anything but the objects he touches, which is why she almost screams when there’s suddenly two knights upon him. He fights like nothing she’s ever seen before, and as he moves away from the knights with his violent gracefulness he spots her. He doesn’t acknowledge her, but he addresses his knights;  
“Let’s practice the old forms.”  
Rey can’t hear the responses, but the idea is clearly not very popular since Kylo has to press on:  
“Maybe I feel like reminiscing? Shut your faces and go grab some swords.”  
Ren gets a wooden sword, and he asks his knights;  
“So, do you remember old Skywalkers favorite?”  
He falls into the opening stance of Soresu with ease.  
“Yes. Fuck defense, come at me.”  
He abandons his stance and clashes with a knight mid air. Rey spots moves from the Ataru form, the Shien and her heart speeds up as she recognizes the form Luke’s refused to show her; the Juyo. Kylo is relentless, a feral being wrapped in darkness, a kriffing machine. Two more knights joins the first, and Ren fights them all, hardly breaking a sweat. Rey swallows. Maybe she did get a bit lucky when she took him out in Starkiller base? That wound might have been a bigger blessing than she’d thought. One by one the knights yields, and Kylo dismisses them.  
“How’s the Soresu going?”  
Rey tries to collect herself, she can’t let him see her... impressed? No, no, fascinated? No! Interested, yes, she might have felt the tiniest bit of interest in his techniques, but he won’t get to boost his ego with that knowledge.  
“Very well thank you.”  
“Really?” He throws her one of the wooden swords, and without thinking she catches it.  
“Show me.”  
“What?”  
He leaps at her with his sword slashing down from over his head and she barely manages to parry. The impact sends shockwaves through her body and suddenly she’s _alive_. She tries to stay in control, to keep her defense tight, but he soon has her cornered against a wall she can’t see.  
“Let go,” he purrs as his blows rains down on her, “you know you _can_ get out of this.”  
There’s no emotion, there’s peace, no emotion, there’s peace, no emotion there’s peace...  
They lock blades inches from her throat, and he’s eyes bores into hers. It’s like he can see straight through her as she tries to reach for the light but she’s not at peace and she’s not serene and when he leans in his mouth ends up way too close to her ear and she can’t _think_ and...  
“Peace is a lie, little Jedi,” he breathes, “there’s only passion.”  
And she falls for it. This time she’s no trouble reaching the force and she sends him flying backwards, crashing a few feet away. He’s still on the ground when she strikes, using exactly zero of the forms and definitely not any of the defensive ones. He’s kriffing close to smiling.  
”I knew you’d fight dirty, scavenger.”  
She drops her sword and tries to hit him with her bare hands, and when he blocks her she kicks him as hard as she can, straight in his left knee.  
“Fuck!” he wheezes and springs up, “I guess you can take the girl from Jakku, but never take Jakku from the girl”.  
“You took me from Takodana, you idiot,” she retorts but she’s alone again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a pep talk from the Supreme leader.

Kylo feels ridiculously smug. Once again he managed to teach her, and this time it didn’t crash and burn like last time. Even though he’d been busy sparring, he’d still noticed her wide eyes following his every move and, force help him, he couldn’t stop thinking about her doe eyes. Or how those eyes had burned with the desire to kill him slowly. Passion was a very good look on her, a really good look...  
“Ren, you should see a doctor, your face is looking weird again,” Hux remarks.  
Oh yes, right, strategy meeting with the generals. Kylo rearranges his face and glares at Hux. Hux clears his throat, and Kylo entertains the idea of choking the life out of him, possibly without using the force, but he just lowers his head, gesturing Hux to carry on with his briefing.  
“As I were saying, the Resistance hasn’t been seen since the destruction of the _Fulminatrix_ , but we have to find them, and soon, before Organa manages to bounce back,” Hux squints at Kylo, but he stays impassive, ”the Supreme Leader is utterly disappointed with the lack of progress and it might be time to change our strategy. Any ideas?”  
The room fills with chatter, and Kylo returns to relive the events of this morning once again. He absentmindedly squeezes his knee, relishing in the dull ache.

She’s laughing. Not at him, _with_ him. He should’ve known he’s dreaming, because he’s laughing too. But he doesn’t realize it’s a dream until Snoke’s voice cuts through the scene, dripping like honey.  
“Oh, my dear, foolish, boy...”  
Dream Rey fades away, and Kylo wakes up. Snoke’s voice on the other hand doesn’t fade, it vibrates inside Kylos mind, clawing through his thoughts, and mingles with them until Kylo can’t tell his inner voice apart from Snoke’s.  
“You don’t long to teach,” Snoke continues, “you long to _belong_... you’re weak Kylo Ren, and the scavenger would betray you like the rest of them did. The only one who accepts all of you, and cherishes your talents, is me. She’d never care for a pathetic little knight shrouded in darkness. Tell me you do understand this?”  
Kylo’s chest feels too tight.  
“Yes, master,” he whispers.  
“The one time you did met this girl, what did she do?”  
“She tried to kill me.”  
“Yes. You’re a creature of the night, my boy, what good did the light ever do for you?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Your own _blood_ tried to murder you, put you down like an animal... your mother feared you and your father left time and time again... why do you think this is, young one?”  
“They didn’t want me.”  
“That’s right, they never loved you, and that’s because you weren’t made to be loved. The girl is no different, she’s just prettier than the others, but she’ll never leave the light, and certainly not for _you_.”  
Kylo flinches, but he knows his master’s words are true.  
“Your purpose, your only purpose, is to finish what your grandfather started and to bring order to the galaxy. You’ll never belong and you’ll never be loved, but you _will_ be respected, Master of Ren, and you’ll be remembered.”  
A single tear trickles down Kylo’s temple, then there’s just complete numbness.  
“I’ll make you the strongest force wielder the galaxy’s ever seen, apprentice. Do I have your trust?”  
“Always, master.”  
“Good boy. Remember; _Through victory my chains are broken..._ ”  
“ _The Force shall free me_ ,” Kylo finishes.  
Snoke retreats and Kylo Ren is no longer wavering. When Rey’s bench and her sleeping form materializes next to his bed he sighs and turns his back at her, without giving the girl a second glance.  
  
✨

Rey wakes up with Kylos back close enough to touch. She doesn’t, of course, but she could. He’s sleeping, with knees bent, a small curve in his back and with his chin tucked to his chest. The man she saw defeating three knights at the same time sleeps like he’s afraid. Rey’s heart squeezes with a feeling she can’t name, so she turns her back at him, and shuts her eyes. Hard.

A few more days passes, and she doesn’t see him, even though she did wake up on the floor one early morning. She decides she’d just rolled off her bench and bans the idea of her spending time in his actual bed from her mind.

“Time to pack up, kid,” Luke tells her at breakfast.  
“Why?”  
“It’s time we get you back to your friends, for me to face my sister’s wrath,” his eyes twinkle, “and for us to help the Rebellion.”  
Rey squeaks something unintelligible and throws herself at Luke. Since neither of them has any recent experience with physical interaction, the embrace turns very awkward very quickly and Rey releases her grip as if she’d been burned.  
“I’ll go pack!”

She’s sitting on her bunk on the Falcon when she sees him again. He’s in some kind of meeting, listening to something she can’t hear. He sees her as well, she’s sure of it, but he doesn’t even lift an eyebrow to acknowledge her. He leans in over the table and rumbles:  
“Nothing is more important than finding Skywalker before he turns the scavenger into a Jedi, and I’m growing impatient waiting for you idiots to do your actual work.”  
He’s always been calling her “scavenger”, but never like this, like she’s filth on his stupid leather boots. Rey frowns. She can’t hear the answers he’s getting but he continues:  
“Very well, gentlemen, ladies, I’ll leave it up to you, for now. You’re all dismissed.”  
A few moments passes, Ren looks at the door and then back again. His face is blank in a way she doesn’t recognize, like it’s another mask, and his Force signature flows like a steady stream of dark water. But then, something catches his eye, and he loses his mask for a second;  
“Are you on the Falcon?”  
Kriff. He stands up, taking one step towards her and growls:  
“You are.”  
He turns on his heel, and leaves.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head Kylo left for the Academy when he was nine years old, and the temple burned when he was seventeen. He's 29 now, and Rey might be 19-20. The Damerons and Organa/Solos were buddies back in the day. And even though I love the originals, I've to confess I've never had much love for Luke. So if your a fan of his character, please forgive me for portraying him as a dramatic diva.
> 
> And as a reminder, in my story Poe did mess up with the bombers, but the Resistance then managed to reach Crait without the First order on their tail. Leia is in one piece, and Kylo hasn't been close to kill her.

"Rey!”  
”Finn!”  
She’s in his arms before the landing ramp even touches the ground. He holds her tight, making it a bit difficult to breath.  
“I’ve missed you,” he says, “welcome back.”  
“I’ve missed you too.”  
Members of the Resistance swarms around the Falcon, whispering among themselves. Rey turns around, and notices Luke hasn’t walked out with her and Chewie. Then a cloaked figure appears at the top of the ramp. He slowly walks, no, ascents, down the ramp, coming to a halt after a few feet. He lifts his hands, his robotic arm glittering in the sun, and pushes his hood back. The audience gasps and Rey sighs. The drama of this kriffing family...  
“Luke!” a woman’s voice calls out, and Rey spots general Organa making her way through the crowd.  
Luke is beaming.  
“Leia!”  
Leia steps up on the ramp, ignoring Luke’s open arms and slaps him with enough force to make him stumble sideways.  
“Laser brain,” she mutters, “I could’ve used your help years ago.”  
Rey coughs to cover her snort. The entire Resistance has fallen completely silent, as they watches their leader manhandle the last Jedi. Luke straightens himself up, still smiling, and Leia’s face breaks into a grin. The two siblings embrace and the Resistance breaths out a collective sigh of relief.

Finn shows her around. Crait is a desert planet, like Jakku, but instead of sand it’s just mile after mile of salt covering red soil. He introduces her to the other members of the Resistance, like Captain Poe Dameron and Rose Tico. The captain is a bit muted, and Finn fills Rey in on the events that got Dameron demoted and Rose’s sister killed. Tico is very sweet towards Rey, and they end up sharing a room with actual beds, to Rey's delight. It’s a bunk bed and Rose has already claimed the top one, which suits Rey just fine, considering her new found habit of rolling out of bed.

She does sees Kylo a few times, but he continues with his strange indifference towards her. He just looks at her with a bored expression, before returning to what ever son-of-darkness-activity he’s occupied with. Rey hates to admit it, but there’s a small part of her that wonders what this sudden change in his demeanor means. The next time she sees him, he’s bent over a table, reading a real book. He looks up at her, but swiftly proceeds his reading. Rey can’t take his crap anymore, and figures provocation is the way to go;  
“I think your mother misses you.”  
Ren huffs.  
“I really do think she does.”  
“I don’t have a mother.”  
He took the bait! Rey feels victorious.  
“You do! Me on the other hand...”  
He looks up, with a slight softening of his face.  
“Do you know what happened to them?”  
“I think I’ve always known... they sold me for drinking money and now they’re dead.”  
“You’re not missing out.”  
Rey already regrets her decision to engage him in conversation. Her anger flares up, as it usually does whenever he's around.  
“How can you say that?! You had people who  loved  you!”  
He stands, his chair falling over, and he lowers his voice:  
“My mother sent me away when I was nine, and I only ever saw her or Han Solo a few times per year after that. Out of pity. Skywalker tried to put a leash on my powers, fearing them, and when he couldn’t he tried to kill me.”  
“Liar!”  
“Why else would he hide for over a decade?”  
Luke could never! Or could he? If he thought he the galaxy was better off without Ben Solo? Maybe he could...   
“Does Leia know?”  
“Of course she does. And when I find your sad band of rebel scum I’ll finish them both.”  
His face turns into the expressionless mask she absolutely loathes, he picks his chair up and returns to his book as if he’d just been chitchatting about the weather. Kriffing snake.

✨

The Supreme leader is wise, and Kylo is once again on the right path. Kylo told Hux and the other generals he’d a vision of Luke and the scavenger traveling together on the Falcon, and Hux issued a reward for providing the First order with the whereabouts of the ship. It's just a matter of time now, that piece of trash is well known throughout the galaxy, and somebody ought to know something. Soon he’ll face his final trial, and then his training will be completed. He shall be _free_. 

He connects to her from time to time, but after their last altercation she treats him like he treats her, like he doesn’t exist. One day he sees her eating, like a starved beast, and suddenly the traitor comes into view, giving her an odd hug from behind. She’s all smiles and fuck! He shuts his eyes and doesn’t open them until he’s sure she’s gone. He pushes himself through harder workouts, and focuses on his legacy, his one true purpose, willing himself to abstain from thinking of her. It actually works for a couple of days, and then he sees her in a starfighter, with Poe fucking Dameron hanging at the back of the seat, leaning in over her shoulder and flipping the levers _for_ her! Poe Dameron is giving her a tour of his x-wing, and she's asking him questions which he answers with his signature charm. Kriffing flyboy, he'd been a favorite of Kylo's parents even twenty years ago, when the Dameron family were frequent visitors of the Organa/Solo household. Poe had been everything Ben Solo wasn't; outgoing, witty, even-tempered, not force sensitive, reckless - but in good way, not to mention fucking symmetrical! He's still symmetrical, Kylo notices, and clenches his fist so hard the leather creaks. Rey looks Kylo straight in the eye, squints, and asks Dameron if he's ready for dinner. The daft idiot looks puzzled for a second, but then agrees, offering a supporting hand to her. She accepts it. The scavenger, who climbed a death star for a living, suddenly needs support out of a fighter and Kylo all but runs to his training hall, where he ends two droids using only his hands. 


	11. Chapter 11

Kylo’s realized the Supreme leader had been right, he has to kill Rey as well as his mother and Luke. He can’t keep on having her barging into his life, making a mess of everything. No. He needs to grow up, stop throwing tantrums and become the master he claims to be, and he can’t do that while thinking of her lashes or her smile or her hand in Poe Dameron’s. She has to go, and it’ll be such a relief to have her out of his way.  _ Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. _

Kylo and Hux stands before the Supreme leader.  
“I’m pleased to learn that the general’s net of spies has found a rebel base”, the Supreme leader grins, “and our scouts confirms the presence of members of the so called Resistance, and the Millennium Falcon has been sighted as well.”  
Hux tries to keep his face neutral, but Kylo can tell he’s close to jumping up and down over the Supreme leader’s praise.  
“They’re hiding like rats at a planet called Crait, and we are already in orbit, just out of their radar’s reach. We’ll come at them with enough force to crush them once and for all.”  
Kylo feels his heart beat faster. He hasn’t been to battle in ages, and he aches for it.  
“We’ll use the element of surprise, and strike them in their deepest sleep. A ground force will make way trough the main gate, and the rest of the artillery will soon follow. I want air support present, but I doubt it’ll be necessary. I need you, general Hux to lead the troopers, and you, Master of Ren, will, along with your knights, lead the first ground force.”  
Kylo and Hux’s nods once as confirmation.  
“I’m hoping you’ll have a nice family reunion, and if you’re lucky the jedi girl will be among them as well.”  
“I’ll pass the test, master,” Kylo is certain of this.  
”Yes, young one, this is your final trial, and then your training will be finished,” the Supreme leader nods to himself, “very well, we attack at 03.00 standard time. Go oversee the preparations, and get some rest.”

Kylo gears up. Black pants, black boots, black undershirt, black padded tunic, black belt, black cape, black gloves and his old mask, reborn. He ignites his saber, and the sound of it is enough to give him chills. He twirls it around his wrist before heading for the hangar. This is the night Ben Solo truly dies. Nobody will tie him to his old self, and nobody will remember the sad excuse of a boy he once were. Kylo Ren will never again have to wonder what his mother thinks of him, because she’ll be gone and her thoughts won’t mean a thing. He’ll restore order to the galaxy, true order, and there’s no other way. It’s a shame he’s mother doesn’t see it, but it is what it is, and soon he’ll face her. He falters, just half a step, when he realizes he haven’t seen her in twelve years. Is she old now? Han Solo had looked so very old and fragile out on the bridge, but Kylo can’t picture his mother like that. In his mind she’s always impeccable, with her braids and fine clothing, she was a princess after all, before the senate and the war, and she’d always looked the part. Kylo wonders if she wears her hair in alderaani mourning braids... He nods to the other knights as he enters his epsilon class-shuttle, and they all bows their heads in return. The air is filled with excitement, these men live for the chaos that is war, and Kylo wants to feel the same anticipation, but he’s still thinking about Leias braids. It’s idiotic, why is he hung up on something so insignificant? He’s the last one onboard, two pilots sits in the cockpit and his six knights of Ren sits with a handful of elite stormtroopers in the hard seats of the main compartment.  
“Preparing for take off, please take your seats.”  
Kylo stalks to the back of the ship, where he’s is own private compartment, and steps inside. The compartment only has room for a small bunk and nothing more, but at least he gets to be alone. The ship starts to vibrate and the speakers cracks to life again:  
“We’re leaving for Crait, estimated arrival in 70 minutes. We’ll travel in realspace in order to avoid early detection. Please remain seated during takeoff and landing.”  
The ship slowly raises, and glides out of the hangar of the Supremacy. Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer, will kill his mother in less than two standard hours. He’ll once again face Rey, and he’s sure she’ll put up one hell of a fight along with Skywalker. But Kylo Ren is bringing his knights, a ground force of thousands of stormtroopers, and massive air support, so there’s no question the Resistance will meet it’s end. Today. In 70 minutes. Kylo Ren stares out a small window, imagining Rey’s sleeping body, a sight he’s grown weirdly accustomed to. She’s always sleeping with her back against the wall, and her arms tucked around her small frame. But there was that one time when she fell asleep with her back facing him, her supposedly mortal enemy. She trusted him to not attack her, and just... slept. Under a blanket he gave her. He startles when he realizes she still sleeps with it, she’s just cut the logo off. He saw that blanket just a few days ago, when they connected for the briefest of time, but he’d thought nothing of it. But now... why would she keep a First order blanket when she’s at a base well equipped enough to have actual beds and a cafeteria and everything else Kylo’s been seeing glimpses of through their bond? Surely they have blankets of their own? But she’s sticking to _his_ blanket. Is he to storm into her room and kill her when she’s still under it?  
“Fuck!”  
He needs to reach her. Right fucking now. After a few raging tries at reaching her through the Force he realizes he needs to change his strategy. He sits on the bunk, crossing his legs, shuts his eyes and whispers, for the first time in twelve years:  
“ _There is no emotion, there is peace... there is no ignorance, there is knowledge... there is no passion, there is serenity... there is no chaos, there is harmony... there is no death, there is the Force_.”

In his minds eye he can see every little light in the Force, but he knows hers, it’s bright, but violent, it’s wild but kind, and he grabs hold of it and he pulls and...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you for reading ❤️ It’s mind blowing that over a 1000 people has at least started to read this fic. I hope some of you are sticking around, because I’m having a blast with this. Thank you again!

Rey wakes up with the strangest feeling. It feels almost like that moment of vacuum before she connects to Kylo, but not really, it’s warped and indecisive. She stays in bed for a moment, waiting, but nothing happens. She tries to get back to sleep, but there’s this pulling felling that she just can’t shake. She gets up, walks to the fresher and splashes some water on her face. It doesn’t help. The weird sensation just gets more and more intense and suddenly there is no sink, there’s a cross legged Kylo Ren, sitting on a bunk with closed eyes, hands on his knees and brows furrowed in deep concentration. His old mask, obviously repaired, and his gloves lies next to him. He doesn’t seem to notice her.  
“What’s this?”  
He opens his eyes, and the connection blurs for a second, like a hologram with bad reception.  
“Rey!”  
His eyes are wide open, as if he can’t believe she’s real.  
“That’s me.”  
Kylo scrambles to his feet, so kriffing tall, and takes a step towards her.  
“Listen to me, we don’t have much time —“  
“Are you doing this?”  
“Well yes and I don’t know for how long I can keep the connection open so let me —“  
“Is that why it’s all fussy and odd? It’s never been like this be—“  
“REY! Will you shut the fuck up?!”  
Rey crosses her arms and stares at him, wishing him a swift end, but she doesn’t say anything.  
“You need to leave. Right now. The First order will make planetfall in less than an hour.”  
He’s talking so fast, Rey can barely make out his words. This can’t be real. He has to be bluffing.  
“No, I don’t believe you. You just want us to evacuate and blow our cover. It’s not going to happen, _Ren_.”  
His hands flies up to his hair, pushing it out of his face. He steps closer, and Rey is backed up against the closed fresher door.  
“I’ve never lied to you. I already know where you are, you’re at Crait, in the old rebel base and I need you to get out!”  
She studies him for a second, he’s dressed for battle and his saber hangs at his side.  
“I still think it’s a trick.”  
The connection once again flickers. She’s never seen eyes as black as his.  
“For Force’s sake Rey! Just leave!”  
“Why would you tell me? You haven’t even noticed me for more than a week! It’s a fucking trick, Ren, and I’m not buying it!”   
She hates the way her voice breaks when she’s accusing him of not caring, as if _she_ cares about _his_ opinion of _her_. He closes the last gap between them, reaches out and grabs her upper arm, a bit harder than strictly necessary, and Rey jolts. His touch is pure electricity and he falters for just a moment, staring at her, before growling:  
“I’ve told you, I do not want you dead. Now leave, and bring my m —“.  
The connection breaks. 

Rey spots her face in the mirror over the sink, and she doesn’t recognize the person staring back at her; she’s looking as unraveled as she feels. Would he lie to her? What does it mean if he isn’t lying? What if he’s actually trying to save her? Then again, the last time they spoke, he was planning the murder of his family...  
“Rey? Are you alright?” Rose calls from the other side of the door.   
Rey takes a deep breath. She needs to make a decision. Now.


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo Ren groans. Will she leave? Force help him if she doesn't, how the fuck is he supposed to keep her out harm's way? Kylo slams his mask back on and pulls on his gloves, trying hard to forget the feeling of her bare skin against his. He stalks through the shuttle, and enters the cockpit, making sure the door closes behind him.  
"Sir?" the co-pilot addresses him.  
He raises his hand, pushing into their minds, and says:  
"You'll slow us down. We'll make planet-fall 15 minutes later than expected."   
"We'll slow down. We'll make planet-fall 15 minutes later than expected," the two pilots repeats mechanically, and starts to flip levers, adjusting the settings of the autopilot.   
He leaves cockpit and sits down with his knights. They've spent most of the trip goofing around, but has now fallen silent, as they always do this close to a fight. They're loyal to the Master of Ren and no one else, which means Kylo at least can get _them_ to stay off Rey and his... the general. But the troopers. Hux is going in with the heavy artillery and they’ll follow his orders. Kylo needs to get to Rey and the general first, maybe knock them unconscious with the Force and then... fucking hide them in a closet? He has a bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling. 

✨

"Leave _everything!"_ Rey cries over the blaring alarms, "just get to the freighters!"  
The members of the Resistance has gotten out of their beds, but they're moving too slow. They keep on looking at Rey as if she's crazy, which she might be, but they'll all be dead if they don't get a move on. She hasn't talked to the general, or Luke, she just forced Rose to ring the alarm and started banging on every door she could find. The captain, Poe, makes his way to her.  
"What's up?"  
"The First order will be here in _minutes_! We need to get out!"   
"How do you know? The warning systems hasn't gone off..."  
"It's a kriffing force-thing, Poe, please just help me!"  
Poe sees something in her eyes, and makes up his mind. He jumps on top of a table and shouts:  
"Ladies and gentlemen, the First order is coming to visit. Start evacuating as quickly as possible, but try not to panic. Pilots, to your stations, we'll cover the transports!"  
People starts to speed up, and the pilots runs over to the hangar. Leia and Luke appears, approaching Rey but she shakes her head:  
"Not now. Just get on a freighter, _please_."  
And then the warning systems goes off. Everyone freezes, and turns wide eyed to Leia, searching for guidance. Her face is as calm as ever.   
"Well, you heard the captain. Evacuate." 

✨

Kylo thinks he sees the rear of a familiar freighter, but it's gone so fast he might have been imagined it. He's on the ground, and even though it's in the middle of the night it's still not completely dark, with the salt reflecting the star light. The rebel base is silent. Are they still there? He nods to his knights, and the troopers, starting to make their way to the main, massive, gate. There's no alarms, no movement. They must have gotten out? Surely they would've been detected otherwise? Kylo orders a droid to hijack the door, and it slowly starts to rise. Kylo ignites his saber, the knights falls in to their fighting stances and the troopers raises their blasters and canons. They're met with utter darkness.   
"Sir," a trooper with a death wish calls out, "it looks abandoned"   
Her force signature lingers like perfume in the air.  
"Turn this place upside down, they've to be here," Kylo hisses.   
The droid manages to turn on the light and they're standing in a room with obvious signs of recent inhabitants. The room is a command center, with computers running and with cups of still lukewarm caf littered over the desks. Kylo follows her signature to a small room with a bunk bed he recognizes. His blanket is nowhere to be seen. Her sheets are tangled, and he almost falls for the temptation to smell them, but there's limits even to him - he might be psychopath but he isn't a fucking pervert. He's just about to leave, when he sees a small piece of folded paper sticking out underneath the pillow. He opens it slowly. The letters are wonky, as if the writer rarely uses a pen, but the message makes Kylo's heart clench.   
"Thank you," it says, signed with a "R".   
She got out. He got them out. He roars, for appearance's sake, and starts to hack away at the corridor's walls, ignoring the sudden wetness of his eyes. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reylo incoming!

The second Rey sees Ren's shuttle breaking through the atmosphere she exclaims:  
"Chewie, punch it!"  
Hyperspace has never been more beautiful. Her heart is beating a billion beats per minute when she comms Poe:  
"Did we get everyone out?"  
"You guys were the last ones! You're amazing Rey, all of us would be space dust if it wasn't for you!"  
Rey blushes, still unaccustomed to heartfelt praise.  
"Well, it wasn't me, really, it was the Force..."  
"Force or no force, you made a good call, kid. See you at the meeting point!"  
"Sure thing, Black Leader."

Rey gets Han’s old quarters, since Chewie refuses to switch. He stays in his usual bunk, in the crew quarters, with Rose and Finn. Rey should be sleeping, it’s been a really long day, and they’re still almost 24 standard hours from the meeting point, but she can’t. Instead she opens her bag, and pulls out his blanket. Maybe it’s hers now. The climate control of the Falcon is famously unreliable, which is why she brought the blanket, and it’s perfectly reasonable, really, to bring nothing but a bag, containing her lightsaber, a medpack and a blanket, while evacuating. Right? She sighs and drapes the blanket over her shoulders, leans her head against the wall, and closes her eyes. When she opens them she once again finds a bloody Kylo Ren flat on his stomach. His facing her, but he’s asleep. Or unconscious.   
“Not this again,” she mutters and starts digging through her bag in search of her medpack. Rey repeats the bacta routine from the last time, and when she’s done she lies down next to him, allowing herself to just look at him for a moment. He’s all odd angles with big ears and birth marks scattered like constellations over his cheeks and neck. His lashes are pitch black, like his hair, which always looks kriffing marvelous, even now, when he’s half dead. He looks younger like this, and not at all like a merciless killer, well, except for his physique, which speaks volumes of his training regime. She can’t help but feeling smug when she studies his scar, running from his eyebrow to his shoulder. _Her_ scar. She marked the powerful master of Ren, the First Order’s greatest warrior, for everyone to see. She reaches out and trails the scar with her finger pad. She shouldn’t have. 

✨

She’s lying next to him, not in his bed, but almost. She looks startled at first, but her face softens.  
”Hi.”  
”Hey,” his voice sounds huskier than usual.   
“You saved us. You saved the Resistance.”  
Kylo huffs. Rey bites her lip, and she looks so very fragile.   
”You saved...” she whispers, “me.”  
Kylo closes his eyes again, it’s impossible to look her in the eye. He did save her, but only because he ratted her out in the first place. He doesn’t know what to say, so he just keeps quiet.  
”I’ve seen you fight,” she changes the subject, thank the Force, “I don’t get how you end up like this?”  
Kriffing hell, this subject is even worse.  
”It’s not from fighting,” he mutters.   
“It’s not?”  
He opens one eye, and sees her face fall when she realizes the truth.  
”Is Snoke doing this to you?!”  
”Pain is... instructive.”  
He shuts his eye again, trying to will the Force to cut the connection. But no. She’s silent for a little bit, thinking.  
”If you were to teach me, would you do this to me?”  
“No,” he scoffs, the thought of her crying out in pain as her skin slashes open ripping through him, “of course not.”  
”But you said it’s instructive, and you always keep nagging me to let you teach me...”  
”I said no,” he murmurs, “never.”  
There’s just silence now, and for a little while they just lay on their beds, breathing. He doesn’t dare to open his eyes, terrified of what he would find in her face if he does.  
”Then why,” her finger ghosts down his upper arm in the lightest of touches, “ _why_ are you letting him do it to you?” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Rey! Fun fact, I was drunk myself when I wrote this yesterday 😅

Leia and Luke shares history with the natives of the moon of Endor, and they, with some help from C-3PO, manages to convince the Ewoks to shelter the Resistance until they've figured out their next move. But moves are expensive and the Resistance is broke, plain and simple. In the latest evacuation they lost almost everything, from rations, to clothes, to computers and other technology, and the flight from Crait drained the remaining fleet's fuel supply.   
"I know it's looking bleak right now," Leia tells her rebels, at their first morning meeting, "but we'll regroup and we'll prevail."  
A handful of empty huts harbors some of the rebels, while others uses the freighters and ships for shelter. Rey and Chewie stays on the Falcon, but Finn and Rose chooses to move to the huts, high up in the trees. Rey, being used to harvest scraps, finds the moon of Endor bountiful, but the rest of the Resistance members doesn’t agree, and there’s a cloud of defeat hanging over the camp. A couple of days into their stay, Poe unveils a crate of Corillian whiskey bottles, declaring an end to sulking. Rey’s never had a drink before, but she figures it’s time.  
  


Maybe she drank too quick, or maybe too much, because when Finn leans close to Poe, whispering something and earning a hearty laugh from the captain, she suddenly feels left out. She doesn’t know anyone of these people, not really, and they only sees her as Luke’s new padawan, a Jedi in the making. Her heart aches in a way she hasn’t felt since Jakku, but back then she actually _was_ alone, not surrounded by people. She can’t seem to get her mind straight, so she sneaks away from the fireplace and back onto the Falcon with the firm intention of getting in bed. The Force doesn’t cooperate, per usual, and as soon as she walks into her quarters she meets Kylo Ren. He’s reading again, kriffing life of the party... He looks at her, and asks:  
”Are you drunk?”  
None if your business, she should answer, but she apparently goes with:  
”Maybe a little.”  
“You’re stumbling.”  
“I’m not!”  
The corner of his mouth twitches.  
”You are! You’re sluring a bit too.”  
“Well, I’m happy to entertain the kriffing prince of darkness.”  
Kylo huffs at her, returning with half an eye to his book. He does look like a prince, with his hair and regal nose and his stupid shoulders and his clothes, and Rey realizes something;   
“You _are_ aprince!”  
He looks up at her again, furrowing his brows.  
”His royal highness,” Rey blabbers happily, “prince Kylo Ren of Alderaan!”  
”You’re majestically drunk, scavenger.”  
Scavenger again, but not the dirt-on-his-boot-kind, instead he makes it sound like something else entirely. Rey should back off and leave him be, but encouraged by the softness in his voice, and maybe the whiskey in her system, she presses on:  
”Why won’t you leave? I know there’s conflict in you, I can feel it.”  
“Let’s not do this,” he mutters.  
”Let’s do this! Don’t you wanna come home?”  
”Rey,” her name sounds like velvet, “I don’t have any other home.”  
”We’d have you.”  
”The Resistance? They would hang me.”  
”No, they wouldn’t! Will you just, please, think about it,” she practically begs, “ _Ben_.”

✨ 

His birth name is a prayer on her lips, her eyes are blown wide, seeking his, and his heart breaks. He should’ve know, _he should have known,_ she’sno different, and she, just like his parents and everyone else, only wants her own illusion of a him, not the actual man. They all believe Ben Solo is a different person entirely, separated from the wickedness of Kylo, and refuses to see that the only real difference between Ben Solo and Kylo Ren is the fucking name. He hates it when Snoke’s right, but he always is. Fuck! His jaw clenches.   
“That’s not my name,” he states, and leaves his quarters without caring about her ridiculous attempts to stop him. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never spent so much time on Wookieepedia before 😅 these knights will be the death of me.

Still worked up after Rey’s sudden plea for a boy that no longer exists, Kylo heads out, making his way to his training hall, when he runs into Hux. Ever since they found the rebel base Hux’s been trying to get to Kylo, no doubt blaming him for the failed operation. Hux squints at Kylo:  
“Why are you in such a hurry, Ren? I’ve heard you’re demoted?”  
“Reassigned, Hugs, not demoted.”  
Honestly, he’s demoted, but he can’t stand this man’s gloating. Hux smirks, as if the Supreme leader hadn’t held him accountable as well. Then again, Snoke had been more focused on seeing Kylo overcome his weaknesses than watching Hux wipe out the Resistance, which was why he let Hux off easy.  
“I heard he whipped you like a dog,” Hux sounds like nothing has ever made him happier.  
Kylo feels the darkness surge through him, boiling in his veins, demanding to be released, _now_. Hux has gotten in over his fucking head this time. Kylo stares him down.  
“No, Hugs, he doesn’t whip me. He tears the skin apart, using the Force,” he lowers his voice, “and he doesn’t stop until you scream.”  
Hux’s eyes grow wide when he realizes he can’t move.  
“Ren, what the fuck!”  
Kylo makes the general fall to his knees. “Troopers!” Hux exclaims, “stop him!”  
But the four troopers, following Hux wherever he goes, doesn’t move either, because the famous wrath of Kylo Ren scares them more than Hux. Kylo purrs to them:  
“You are dismissed.”  
The troopers rushes away from the corridor without hesitation. Hux positively smells like fear.  
“Since you’re so interested in the Supreme leader’s training methods I’ll give you a free sample,” Kylo murmurs, “I lasted twenty three lashes before cracking, how do you think you’ll do?”  
“You wouldn’t dare!”  
“Are you going to tell on me? Run to Snoke like a spoiled little brat?”  
Hux just glares.  
“Didn’t think so, Hugs. Now, do you have balls or not?”  
Kylo isn’t as efficient as Snoke, but it’ll have to do. He searches the skin of Hux’s back with the Force, pushing it in between his cells, and Hux’s face distorts in horror as he feels the Force’s tendrils making way into his flesh. The two men lock eyes, before Kylo, without a warning, _rips_ Hux’s skin apart. A jarring scream bursts from the general.  
“One lash, Hugs? That’s embarrassing, really.”  
“Fuck you Ren,” Hux growls, “I’ll make you pay for this.”  
“Sure you will,” Kylo smirks and releases his hold of Hux, “I can’t wait.”  
He moves on, leaving the bleeding general behind. The darkness roars in satisfaction, but there’s something else too. Kylo ignores it.

The knights await him in the training hall, and since the Supreme leader stripped him of his title, they’re no longer _his_ knights. They’re sitting on a bench, talking among each other, turning their grim faces at the door when Kylo walks in. Kylo hasn't prepared for this, he was planning on training alone. Which one will take over the leadership? Is it his job to appoint a successor? Or will they fight for it, like he did before gaining the title? The power dynamics has shifted and Kylo doesn’t even know how to address the other knights anymore.  
“We've some business to discuss,” Trudgen breaks the silence.  
Kylo nods, while walking over to the others.  
“The Supreme leader thinks you're unfit to lead us,” Trudgen continues, “but he has no authority over the Knights of Ren, and we can't be bossed around.”  
“We choose our Master by combat,” Vicrul breaks in, “and none of us has ever beasted you.”  
Kylo grunts.  
“But because Snoke deems you unworthy, we’ll fight you again,” Trugen says, “if you beat us, you'll still be the Master of the knights of Ren. If you lose, we'll have a new master.”  
“Agreed,” Kylo answers, “one to one, until one of us yields?”  
Vicrul gets on his feet, twirling his scythe, grinning from ear to ear.  
“I'll go first.”

Two hours later Kylo’s beaten them all, and none of them cut him any slack. He's exhausted, but calm, fighting really is as close to mediation he ever gets.  
“So, boss, looks like you got your job back,” Kuruk smirks, and Kylo realizes that these fights were a morbid testimony of loyalty and devotion.  
His heart acts strange, it’s swelling in his chest, feeling like it’s two sizes too big. One by one the knights take their leave, but Ap’lek lingers. He's never been much of a talker, but when he does speak, it's usually to say something important.  
“We’re the Knights of Ren, and so are you, never forget that. We live, consume and don't apologise. Nothing less, and nothing more. We only bend to the one who can beat us, and you would beat him in a fair fight,” Ap’lek almost out of the door now, “you shouldn’t bend the knee for him, he should bend it for _you_. You owe him nothing.”  
Kylo should cut him down for treason, he really should, but instead he mumbles:  
“Thank you.”  
Ap’lek nods, and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bend the knee is obviously stolen from GoT.


	17. Chapter 17

Rey wakes up, and she’s dying. She’s never been this sick before, it feels like she’s been lying out in the Jakku sun, and her head! Her poor head, it’s breaking apart, she’ll die from the pain, and if her head doesn’t kill her her nausea definitely will. Kriffing hell, did she name Kylo Ren the prince of Alderaan last knight? Kriff, kriff, kriff. She runs over to the bathroom, and puts her head in the toilet.  
“ **YOU OK, KID?** ” Chewie rumbles from the other side of the door.  
“I think I’m dying, I need a medical droid, stat.”  
“ **YOU’RE HUNG OVER. YOU JUST NEED WATER.”** **  
**“No, no, no, I’m dying! People wouldn’t drink if they got this sick from it.”  
Chewie laughs.  
“ **I’LL GO GET SOME PAIN KILLERS.** ”  
This is when she remembers she also called Kylo “Ben”, and that flashback sends her back into the toilet. Kriff, kriff, kriff. 

After some pain killers, water and a healthy portion of crisps Rey actually leaves the Falcon, a bit wobbly, but she’ll live, thank the Force. It’s already midday, and the camp is as busy as always. Rose walks up to Rey.  
“Hey you,” she greets, “you left early?”  
“Um, yes, I --” had a thing with Kylo Ren, who said “scavenger” with this weird tone in his voice? “I think I overdid it, to be honest.”  
“It happens to the best of us,” Rose chirps, before her face alters entirely, “did you… did you notice something with Finn last night?  
“I don’t think so…?”  
“With… you know, with _Poe_ .”  
Yet another confirmation of Rey’s detachment from the rest of the rebels - apparently Finn managed to get himself into a love triangle during Rey’s stay at Ahch-to.  
“Are you a couple?,” Rey blurts out.  
“Well no, but we’ve, you know, hung out a lot and I thought…” Rose shrugs her shoulders, “I thought it meant something.”  
“Well, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary,” Rey lies, while pondering whether telling lies, in order to make another person happy, is the path to the light or the dark side.  
Rose perks up, and scrambles off to the makeshift workshop, returning to her duties. Rey sighs and starts to search for Luke. It’s time to get back in padawan mode. 

Rey spends the afternoon getting hit by tiny laser beams from Luke’s little, hovering, training droid. Her reflexes are sluggish, and she fails to block almost all of the shots, to Luke’s great amusement. “Intoxicants clouds our connection to the Force,” he muses, trying to keep his voice dignified as Rey squeals yet again, “and intoxicants also dims our judgement, making us prone to act on our emotions.”  
Like begging a homicidal psychopath to join the Resistance? Rey is a kriffing idiot. Stupid velvet voice and big hands and kriffing puppy dog eyes and...  
“FORCE!” she exclaims, as a beam hits the exposed skin of her neck.  
Luke can’t hold it together anymore, and starts to howl with laughter. Rey sulks for a second, but then joins her master in a moment of glee. 

After dinner Rey takes a walk, still amazed by the surroundings. Yes, everything is green and alive, and Rey is too, and she should be thrilled but she keeps on repeating Rose’s words in her head. Finn had been Rey’s first friend, but he’s kind of moved on now, and she hardly sees him anymore. His experience within the First order is indispensable to the Resistance and he’s constantly present at the new command center, together with the Resistance’s leadership. Together with _Poe,_ his new bestie slash crush. Rey misses the way he used to act around her, protecting and affectionate, and even though she’s no problem handling herself, it was nice to know he cared. About _her_. But not enough. Not enough to stay. Something claws in her chest. 

✨  
  
He’d planned to go back to ignoring her, but that thought goes straight out the airlock when he sees her slumped against a giant tree, a one-of-a-kind kind of tree. Is she on Endor? The general seriously needs to get more creative.  
“What’s with the temper?” he echos her words.  
She looks up at him, not a trace of her usual defiance in her eyes.  
“I’ve just... I’ve never felt so alone.”  
Kylo swallows.  
”You’re not alone,” he tells her.  
Her voice is a tiny little thing, almost to brittle to hear;  
”Neither are you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With Rey’s background I’m pretty sure she has some serious abandonment issues to work with.
> 
> And of course I had to steal the sequels best lines :)


	18. Chapter 18

The general’s asked for Rey, and the entire way to Leia’s hut Rey wonders what she has done wrong. Leia can't know about Kylo, right? Thinking of Kylo, the Force had been merciful last night, cutting off their connection as soon as she told him he's not alone either. What had she meant? What had _he_ meant? Rey’s so caught up in her thoughts she runs straight into C-3PO, who starts to ramble excuses at the same time as he leads her into Leia’s hut.  
“That would be all, Threepio,” Leia tells him.  
“Certainly princess, I’ll be outside if you need any help communicating or --”  
“Thank you, I'll take it from here,” Leia insists.  
The droid wanders off, and Rey sits down on a bench by Leia’s table. The hut is rather small, but it looks like a proper home, with distinctive Leia-touches. Leia serves Rey tea, this weird leaf potion people force themselves to drink, and Rey sips it reluctantly. Leia sits down on the opposite side of the table, with a small smile on her lips. Rey’s feeling highly uncomfortable, she knows the entire Resistance adores the general, but there’s something about her that rubs Rey the wrong way… this woman left a child.  
“Are you aware you're wearing my son’s clothes?”  
“What? No, I found this…” Rey begins, looking down at the black tunic she's salvaged, “on the Falcon…”  
Leia looks amused.  
“Do you mind?”  
“Not at all child, it suits you.”

The familiar vacuum pulls at her senses again, and soon Kylo’s sitting at the other end of the hut, at his desk. Rey doesn't understand the ways of the Force, but she knows an opportunity when she sees one, and she reaches out, grabbing Leia by the hand.  
“Do you ever think of him?”  
Leia raises an eyebrow in response to the sudden physical contact, but she allows Rey to hold her hand.  
“All the time.”  
Kylo sits still, like a statue, when he sees his mother for the first time in years.  
“I wonder how we ended up here,” the general sighs, “but also if he eats enough, if he’s okay…”  
“He looks alright,” Rey cuts in without thinking.  
The general’s well groomed brow lifts again.  
“I mean… I saw him on Star killer base…”  
Leia squints at her.  
“Tell me Rey, is there something on your mind?”  
Rey has so many things on her mind, but she starts with the most important one:  
“Why did you send him away?  
Leia sighs again, and stirs her tea absentmindedly.  
“It’s understandable you think about this, with your history... We thought it would be the best for him… I wasn’t always a good mother, but he wasn’t an easy child either.”  
Kylo clenches his fist.  
“Ben was a loving boy, very bright and curious. He started to lift things through the Force as a toddler, and by the age of five he could read minds. Bad dreams haunted him since infancy, and back then we didn’t realize it was Snoke who caused them. It was intense, but manageable, until he picked the truth about his grandfather out of my head, I tried to keep my shields up, but…” Leia’s voice fades for a second, “after that his dreams worsened, it was no longer he who was the prey, instead he became the beasts of his own nightmares. He was terrified of becoming like my father, ironically enough.”  
Rey holds on to the general’s hand as if her life depends on it.  
“Besides the dreams, he was emotional, often losing his temper, and he could be violent even back then, and I mean _violent_. In another moment of shieldless weakness he read my mind again, he was nine, when I was wondering if he was right, if he would become a new Darth Vader…” Leia wipes a single tear off her cheek.  
Rey looks at Kylo at the corner of her eye, trying to read him, but he’s still unmoving.  
“I couldn’t really reach him after that. I figured he needed help with controlling his thoughts and feelings, and I thought becoming a Jedi would ground him in the light. That he would be safe… Han was against it, of course, but he was away even more than I was, and Ben always put on his best behavior when Han was home…”  
“Do you know about Luke? What he tried to do?”  
Leia scoffs.  
“Yes, I know. His exile wasn’t entirely his idea, I can tell you that much.”  
“But you’ve forgiven him?”  
“Yes, he told me it was a moment of doubt, a passing shadow, and I believe him.”  
Rey gives her head the slightest shake, but the general picks it up.  
"I’m not saying we did the right thing, because we didn’t. I'm not proud to tell you this, but it was a relief when he left”, Rey doesn’t even dare to check on Kylo, “the house had been utter chaos for years, and it suddenly became somewhat peaceful again… it was easy to tell ourselves Ben was better off at Luke’s, that he didn’t need us anymore… but the horrible truth is; it was me and Han who got the better end of the deal.”  
“But he was so young…”  
“I know,” the general mutters, “I know.”  
Rey can feel the Force shifting, and hurries to ask Leia one last question;  
“Do you think there’s still light in him?  
“I used to, for so very long, but after what he did to Han… I don’t know, maybe he’s fallen for good.”  
Kriff, that wasn’t the answer Rey was hoping for. A nerve twitches under Kylo’s eye.  
“Maybe he didn’t fall, maybe he was dragged?”  
Kylo flickers out of her vision. Leia puts her free hand over their clasped hands.  
“I know you're trying to make an old woman feel better, so thank you. But I didn’t invite you here to be my therapist, I wanted to get to know _you_ better.”  
Rey flashes her teeth.  
“I’m an open book, general.”  
Apart from the stuff concerning her son. That’s a very, very closed book.  
  
✨  
  
She’s older. Not as old as Han, but definitely older. And she does wear her hair in alderaani mourning braids. And she’d told Rey things she never told him. He struggles to move on with his day, but everything seems far away, and unreal. Kylo tries to be angry with the general again, but he fails. She’d looked almost as pained as he felt, when she revealed the truth about his childhood. Violent. Emotional. Beast. Fallen. A relief to get rid of. No wonder she couldn’t love him. Not that he needs love, not anymore anyways.

He’s just gone to bed when Rey shows up, lying in her bunk, clearly on the Falcon. He doesn’t know what to say, fully expecting her to cut him off again. But she doesn’t seem repulsed, she looks… almost sad?  
“I’m sorry they left you.”  
Kylo feels his heart thundering. She needs to understand.  
“I’m not a good man, and I never was”, he murmurs.  
To his surprise, she starts to laugh.  
“Kriff, Kylo, you can’t honestly believe I ever thought you were?”  
Fucking hell, she’s gorgeous when she laughs.  
“We don’t need to talk about it,” she whispers, “not tonight.”  
“Right.”  
She’s staring holes in the ceiling, but her tiny hand finds his, and Kylo Ren, terror of the galaxy, ceases to function.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much trouble with the grammar writing this! Please excuse my errors. 
> 
> Adam Driver's said in an interview that he believes Han and Leia wasn't the best of parents, and I'm obliviously in his corner. It's possible to love a child and to fuck it up anyway. 
> 
> Also: I'm often listening to A.T.W.A by System of a down while writing Kylo's parts, and you should give a listening :)


	19. Chapter 19

_There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there’s harmony. There is no chaos, there is_ — bullshit! Rey once again loses her focus during meditation. How is she supposed to find her inner kriffing peace when all she thinks about is the complete mess she’s got herself into?  
“Can’t we spar, master?”  
“You don’t need to practice the forms, you need to center yourself,” Luke answers, just as she knew he would.  
“But it’s not working.”  
“Try again, young one.”  
She closes her eyes, exhales, and tries to let the force flow through her... she’s the waves of Ahch-to, she’s the Jakku sand, she’s the wind in the leaves of Endor, she’s in her bed, holding his hand and he looks at her like —  
“FUCK!”  
“Watch your language, Rey! There’s no reason to be angry, you know where that’ll lead you.”  
“Can we _please_ spar?”  
“Try again, and let go of everything this time.”  
Luke will be the death of her.  
  
✨  
  
Kylo’s going insane. He’s never been cooped up on a ship for this long before. He sent his knights on various missions, but Snoke refused to let him leave with them, and he’s about to jump out of his skin any second now. All he does is train, read, train some more, met with the Supreme leader, which is getting increasingly harder as his secrets multiply, ponder on his mother’s words and think about the fucking scavenger. He’s in so much trouble.  
  
“Apprentice”, Snoke greets him.  
“Supreme leader,” Kylo kneels.  
Kylo isn’t in the mood for this. He shoves his forbidden thoughts into the small corner of his mind that Snoke has yet to penetrate.  
“Hux told me you haven’t abandoned your title as the Master of the knights of Ren? Is this true?”  
“I did Master, but the knights follow the one who can beat them in combat, and I beat all of them. Again.”  
Snoke tilts his disfigured head.  
“Was that part of my instructions? I can’t recall giving you the opportunity to resume your position.”  
Kylo is certainly not in the mood for this.  
“The code of the Ren is clear, we answer to no one but the one who can beast us.”  
That was not the right thing to say, not at all. Snoke smirks.  
“Let me remind you of the one who can beast _you_.”  
Kylo tilts his chin up.  
The echo of Ap’lek’s words is Kylo’s last coherent thought, before he succumbs to burning pain.  
  
A med droid patches him back up, and Kylo’s happy Rey wasn’t here for the aftermath this time. Kylo steps into the fresher, and looks himself in the mirror. Every odd angle sits where they always sit, his ears are just as big and his nose is as ridiculous as ever, but there’s something in his eyes, isn’t? Fuck it, he’s taking a shower.  
  
✨  
  
”Your uncle is a —“ Rey’s eyes grow three times wider when she turns around, and faces Kylo, straight out of the shower, with just a towel around his hips.  
“Scavenger,” he greets her, looking a tiny bit smug.  
“Prince of Alderaan,” she shoots back.  
“What can I do for you?”  
Idiot. She tries very hard not to stare at him.  
”This isn’t my doing, you know that.” Is he planning on getting dressed anytime soon?  
“I know, I know… what were you saying about Skywalker?”  
“He’s a tool. I can’t stand another second of his meditation crap!”  
Is he smiling? He is!  
“Finally something we can agree on, _cyar’ika_.”  
What was that? Rey raises an inquiring eyebrow, and Kylo Ren _blushes_.  
“Never mind,” he mutters.  
Rey shrugs, and takes a deep breath.  
“Will you spar with me? Luke won’t let me and I just figured… since we’re stuck with this… thing”  
Now it’s Kylo’s eyes that widens in surprise. He looks like a lost little boy for a second, before those eyes start to kriffing burn. He walks up to her, standing so close she can feel his warmth.  
“I’ll spar with you.”  
Rey nods slowly, unsure where to look, his gaze being too intense to meet.  
“I’ll spar with you”, he repeats, “if you promise to go all in. _I_ can’t stand a second of any passive Jedi bullshit.”  
Rey swallows.  
“I’m not turning to the dark side.”  
“Don’t worry,” his voice is velvet again, “I won’t let you.”  
Force, this is a bad idea, an extremely bad idea…  
“Do you promise?” he presses on.  
Kriff, kriff, kriff, she should’ve thought this through.  
“I promise.”  
He’s definitely smiling now, it’s a wolfish grin that makes her question her sanity.  
“Until next time then, scavenger.”  
It takes her a minute to clap back;  
“Your royal highness.”  
He smirks, and she’s alone again. What the kriff has she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for Kylo Ren calling Rey cyar'ika, and I just couldn't help myself. I know it's canon that Rey speaks a lot of languages, but since she learned them from a military simulator, I don't think she would have that word in her vocabulary. She hasn't in my story, anyways :)


	20. Chapter 20

It’s actually easier to stand Luke’s lessons now, when she knows she’ll, sooner or later, get to spar with Kylo. She runs the curse through the woods, builds tiny towers of small rocks with her mind, meditates for several minutes without losing her temper, and everything else Luke comes up with.   
“Your progress the last few days is astonishing,” Luke looks proud.   
“Thank you master,” she answers, trying to sound sincere.   
The camp is busy rebuilding and regrouping. The Ewoks are less than thrilled about the prolonged stay of the Resistance, but Leia talks them over on a daily basis. They can’t stay on the Forest moon forever, but the Resistance is still broke and the First order is cracking down on potential sponsors, forcing them to align with the Supreme leader, making refunding a major issue. Rey’s actually kind of happy not being involved, both Poe and Finn look exhausted most of the time, and the rest of the leadership isn’t looking any better, apart from Leia, of course. 

It’s the third day without a single connection, and Rey wonders what the Force’s problem is? When she doesn’t want to see him, he’s there multiple times per day, and now when she actually _wants_ to see him, in order to kick his butt, there’s just… nothing.   
“Hey,” Finn hugs her on their way to the so-called cafeteria, in reality it’s the empty cargo hold on one of the freighters.  
“Hi,” she smiles back.  
“I haven’t seen you in ages, what have you been up to?”  
“Well, you know, training…”  
“So you’re a Jedi now?”  
Rey snorts.  
“Hardly!”  
Rey catches him eyeing through the crowd, and she snickers.  
“Looking for someone?”  
“What, no, I’m just…”  
“Does he know you’re into him?”  
Finn gives her big eyes, but he doesn’t argue.  
“I don’t know... Do you think he’s into me?”  
Rey grins.  
“How could anyone not be?.”  
“Rose told me people show it by being, like, attentive and witty, and physically close, but I mean, he’s like that with everyone?!”  
Rey’s head hurts, poor Rose.  
“Maybe you should just tell him?”  
Finn shakes his head, while loading his plate.  
“No, no, I’m not messing it up.”  
Rey nods.  
“Good thinking.”  
It’s a pity she’s seemingly incapable of that ability herself. 

On the fourth day without any contact Rey is growing impatient. She’s carrying her saber wherever she goes, and trying to stay out of other people’s way, suspecting the Resistance would find a sparring match with Kylo Ren less than ideal. On her way out of the camp, she walks past C-3PO and R2-D2, the two are bickering as an old married couple. Rey gets an epiphany seeing the stiff, golden droid and she calls him over.  
“Threepio, could you help me translate something?”  
“Oh, most certainly, miss Rey, I’m fluent in more than six million forms of communication and —“  
“That’s great, thank you, it’s just one word and I’m not sure of the pronunciation…”  
“Try your best, miss, and please add any context you may have.”  
“Context… well, it was just something someone called me… Okay, it sounded like “ _shareekah_ ”?  
The droid makes a low buzzing sound for a half a minute.   
“I beg your pardon for the delay. I’ve ran the word through my hard drive twice, and in combination with the context you provided, I’m 99,0007 % certain you're referring to the Mandalorian word “ _cyar’ika_ ”...”  
“Yes, that’s the one!” Rey cuts in.  
“The word can’t directly be translated into basic,” the droid carries on, “but it’s a term of endearment, translating into something along the lines of _sweetheart_ , _darling_ or _beloved_. The mandalorian culture is most interesting…”  
Rey's brain short circuits. She must have misheard him, Kylo would never call her any of those words.  
“Are you sure?” she interrupts the droid.  
“As I said, miss, I’m 99,0007 % sure, with the slight reservation of the unlikely event that the word origins from a language outside of my programming.”  
“Well, thank you, Threepio.”  
Rey wanders off, heading for the sanctuary beneath the trees. 

✨ 

Kylo spent the majority of the last few days in his training hall, waiting for her to show up. She hasn’t, of course, which makes Kylo increasingly irritated. He’s worked his way through countless of droids, done cardio, lifted stuff both by muscle and by the Force, forced troopers to spar with him and sat on his butt, just waiting, like a fucking idiot, and still nothing. He’s about to call it and head back to his quarters, when his reality twists and bends, and she’s with him, _finally_. She looks surprised, but not in a bad way. She gives him half a smile and greets him with a mock courtesy;  
“Your highness.”  
“Scavenger.”  
Force, she’s beautiful. He needs to get it together.  
“Are you ready for this?” he asks.  
She twirls her saber around her wrist, igniting it. It’s actually his saber, but his priorities have shifted, these days all he wants to do is watch her use it. He ignites his saber as well, falling into the opening stance of the Soresu, and tells her;  
“Go for it. All in.”  
Rey doesn’t need to be told twice, she basically jumps at him, swinging her blade all over the place. It’s obvious she’s starved for a good fight, so he lets her get it out, without interrupting, he just parries her blows. She gets tired quickly, and he can’t help but to smirk.  
“He doesn’t let you spar at all, does he?”  
She falls back, panting.  
“No, he claims I’m too _unstable_.”   
“Are you?”  
Rey grins, and throws herself at him again.

It’s the happiest Kylo Ren has been in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you spot the small nod, ddvn05? :)
> 
> Listen up people, this might come as a surprise to you, but I’m thinking these two might need to make out (at least). But I’m just a wannabe writer who’s never written a single fluffy word in my life, and my question is: how far should I push it? Do you want the whole show or just curtains billowing in the wind? The voting poll is open.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: There's a brief mentioning of rape in Snoke's latest pep talk.

Kylo’s dreaming of her. In this dream she’s leaning in, closing the distance between them, smelling like warm sand and... Snoke's voice rips through the fantasy.  
“I can’t understand your sudden fixation with this girl, apprentice.”   
Kylo sits up, desperately hiding every encounter with the scavenger as deep in his mind as he possibly can.   
“I seem to have forgotten what it’s like to be young”, the Supreme leader continues, “a pretty face is still a pretty face, even when it’s owner wants you dead.”   
Dark tendrils caresses the very core of Kylo Ren, pulling him under.   
“She does want you dead young one, you won’t get the opportunity to turn her. And these dreams of her trying to kiss _you_ ,” Snoke barks out a short laugh, “I must say, you’ve always been naive, but this is an all time best even for you.”   
The Supreme leader is right, of course, she _might_ have kissed her fantasy of Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren? She told him herself, he’s a monster, a murderous snake. She would never stoop so low.  
“I need you to be smarter about this, apprentice.”  
“Yes, master.”  
“You will exercise control over your mind, in order to avoid the poison of these ridiculous dreams. You can’t lose your way over a stupid infatuation, understand?”  
“Yes.”  
“But I do remember the need of the flesh, and I would never dissuade you from giving in to passion. When you do meet her, you’ve my permission to do whatever you want with her, before killing her.”   
Kylo’s pulled under so deep he actually considers constraining her, forcing her and taking her against her will. It’s the only way he could ever have her, he knows that. An image of her underneath him, fighting back with a look of complete disbelief on her face, flashes before his eyes, and he flinches.  
“Your place is with me, apprentice, it’s me alone who’ll lead you to greatness.”  
“Yes, master, I’m grateful.”  
“Excellent,” Snoke purrs, “now sleep.”  
It’s impossible to sleep. He’s nine years old again, left behind to fend for himself. Kylo can’t believe he thought he meant something to her, but he realizes now that all she needs from him is to learn how to beat him. He's been training his own assassin, like a fucking idiot, a desperate fool, blinded by his pathetic wish for affection. This can’t go on.

When he sees her next time, he’s in the middle of a meeting. She tries to catch his eye, but he knows she’s just trying to lure him in, and he won’t be a part of her hoax any longer. He doesn’t acknowledge her, and after a while she disappears again, thank the Force.  
  
✨

“Kriffing nerfherder,” she growls under her breath, before heading back to camp. What’s his problem?! All she wanted to do was to learn how to fight, and all _he_ wanted to do was to teach her how to fight and now she’s back to being treated like kriffing air? Did she do something wrong? She runs their last connection through her head, but she can’t figure out what it was that made him change his mind. He had seemed almost happy when they sparred, right?  
“Hey Rey!” Poe’s voice drags out of her thoughts, “do you want a drink?”  
He’s carrying a clinking crate again, flashing every tooth he got.  
“I don’t know, it didn’t end too well last time.”  
“But didn’t you have fun on your way _to_ the end?”  
“I did,” kriff that kriffing bat, she’s perfectly fine without him, “I’m in!” 

She walks straight into his stupid chest, while trying to get back to the camp after a pee break. Well, at least he couldn’t ignore her this time.  
“Hey prince Ren,” she starts, “get out of my way, will you?”  
He looks at her like she’s grown a second head.  
“Are you drunk, _again_? Out in the woods?”  
“So what if I am? You don’t care anyways.”  
"I don’t want you getting hurt.”  
“What a kriffing gentleman," she inhales sharply, "you know what, _Ben Ren,_ I’m tired of your mood swings! One second all you want to do is teach me, the next you’re trying to kill me, but then you’ll save me, then you call me kriffing _terms of endearments_ and then! Then I’m back to being ignored again!”  
Kylo looks baffled.  
“Yeah, that’s right, I asked Threepio to translate it! And I’m not having it! You better tell me right now what I did wrong or I’ll swear I’ll kriffing cut you down where you stand!”  
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he answers, a bit hesitant, “I just realized _why_ you wanted me to teach you…”  
“And why is that?”  
“Because… you want to know how to… kill me.”  
Rey snorts.  
“Are you really that stupid? You don’t think I’ve had my chances to kill you? You sleep next to me every other night, and if I wanted you dead, trust me, _you_ _would be_ _dead_.”  
There has been sheep with more intelligent expressions than Kylo Ren’s face after Rey’s done with her rant.  
“Did _he_ tell you this?” she asks.  
Kylo doesn’t meet her gaze. Ah, this idiot of a man.  
“I don’t know much, but I do know I don’t want you dead,” she repeats, a bit softer this time.  
They stand silent for a moment, looking at everything but each other, and Rey wonders, for the billionth time, how she ended up in this mess. Kylo clears his throat.  
"So,” he begins, shoving his hair back, “did you mind?”  
“Mind what?”  
He steps closer. Rey needs to tilt her head back in order to see his face, this kriffing human tree.  
“Me calling you,” he murmurs, his thumb ghosting down her jaw, “ _a term of endearment_?”.  
She’s too drunk for this. Her brain scrambles to find a quick comeback, but it fails to deliver.  
“No…” her voice is wavering, “I didn’t mind.”  
She must be _extremely_ drunk, because she thinks he’s about to kiss her, but of course he doesn’t. He retreats instead.  
“You should head back to your party, scavenger.”  
“Yes, the party, yeah,” she gives her head a little shake, clearing it, “will you fight me next time?”  
A corner of his mouth turns upwards.  
“If you’d like me to, then yes.”  
“I do like you to,” she mumbles, “fight, I mean.”  
He chuckles.  
“See you later, Jedi.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you feel like Kylo's too easily persuaded, please remember he's had Snoke's voice in his head his entire life, and Snoke's words has been Kylo's truth for decades. I believe Kylo didn't question Snoke at all before the death of Han Solo, which obviously didn't grant Kylo the peace he was looking for. 
> 
> And please forgive me for dragging this out ;)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters on the same day?! I just had to get this out, you know.

Rey’s not on the verge of dying while waking up this time, since she actually took Poe’s advice last night, and drank a massive amount of water before going to bed. But the headache is nearly as bad as last time, and the memory of her calling Kylo “ _Ben Ren_ ” sends her spiraling in shame, drunk Rey truly is a kriffing comedian. Next up is the memory of his impossible warm thumb stroking her check, and it hits like a star cruiser, making her groan. He’s her enemy, she ought to start remembering that. It’s not easy though, considering his velvet voice, and hands and those eyes that see straight through her and his lips so close to hers and -- Rey forces herself out of bed.  
  
✨  
  
He could’ve kissed her. She had almost leaned into his hand, hadn’t she? But he didn't want her to do something she surely would’ve regretted once she’d sobered up. She’d been beautiful though, and he kind of regrets his chivalry now. What’s the point of being a fucking dark sider if you can’t even kiss a girl?

✨

She’s in the lounge of the Falcon when she meets him again. It’s been a few days since the night of the party, and she’s trying to fix the holochess table, since Chewie cracked it after their latest round, which she’d won, obviously. He’s in his training hall, wearing his standard black pants and a black undershirt, practicing forms, and he stops abruptly when he sees her.   
“Do you want to spar?”  
“Well, yes,” she answers, “but I don’t want to wreck the Falcon.”  
“It’s a piece of trash already.”  
“Don’t say that! You’re offending her!”  
Kylo sighs.  
“If we use wooden swords, then?”  
Rey agrees, and Kylo throws her one.  
“Move your feet this time,” he tells her.  
Rey scoffs.  
“You should’ve moved _your_ feet when I gave you that”, she huffs, pointing her sword at his face.  
He circles her, and she can’t help but noticing he’s moving through the lounge as if he could see her surroundings. Well, one could believe it, until he stumbles on her tool box. She giggles, which sets him off, and he charges. He’s relentless in his attacks, and she can barely keep up.  
“No passive Jedi bullshit,” he reminds her between his blows.  
She takes a deep breath, and escapes him by dropping into a roll. When he jumps her again, she’s still on the ground, and she kicks him just above the foot that is carrying his weight. He tumbles down ungracefully, and before he’s on his feet again she’s forcing him to fend her off from the ground.  
“Like that, scavenger,” he purrs, “like you’re back in the Jakku desert.”.  
Then he flings her into the wall with the Force. 

✨

Tossing her into the wall might have been a step too far. She sneers, baring her teeth, and Force pushes him to a wall he can’t see. When he attacks again she meets him in the middle of the air, absolutely feral, those poor wooden swords clashing together with such force they creak in protest. There’s no forms, there’s just them in this chaotic dance of violence, crashing into each other over and over.  
“Skywalker should see you now,” he taunts her.  
She swings her sword at his head, and he has to duck in order to avoid it. She’s left her side exposed, and he tackles her. They both crash against the wall, she loses her sword and he spins her around, trapping her hands with one of his and resting his sword against her neck. He can feel her panting against his chest, and he leans down to her ear:  
“Yield.”  
“Fuck you,” she breathes, before stepping on his toes and smashing the back of her head against his chin.  
She calls her sword back, and she’s moving like nothing he’s ever seen before. She spins around, hitting him with a heel kick in his midriff, sending him flying back onto the floor. She jumps at him, landing with one knee on either side of his hips, and her blade at his throat.  
“Yield,” she growls.  
She’s a fucking vision, a goddess of vengeance.  
His sword clatters down next to him, and his hands grab her thighs, moving on their own.  
“I yield,” his voice barely more than a whisper.  
She nods triumphantly above him, with eyes wide blown, and a ragged breath.  
“This isn’t very jedi-like, scavenger,” he remarks, sounding huskier than intended.  
“I’m no Jedi,” she hisses, before she leans down and catches his lips with hers. 

✨

He freezes for a split second, before catching on. He sits them both back up, her straddling his lap, and one of his hand roams up to her neck, while the other splays out over her lower back. She drags her hands through his hair, Force knows how long she’s been wanting to do that, feeling absolutely feverish, his warmth engulfing her, and she wishes she could drown in it. His lips trail down her neck, every kiss sending sparks through her entire being.  
“This is a bad idea…” he tells her collarbone, his voice vibrating in her chest.  
“A really bad idea,” she agrees to the shell of his ear.  
He returns to her mouth, flipping her down on the floor and… vanishes. 

Anyone standing outside of the Falcon would’ve heard a shrill cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand they kissed! I hope this was worth your wait. Writing both fighting and kriffing kissing might have been the hardest thing I've ever done.


	23. Chapter 23

Rumors aboard the Supremacy states that Kylo Ren has completely lost it. He won’t leave his training hall, apart from sleeping, and there’s not a single training droid left on the ship. Among the storm troopers there’s something new to dread - being ordered to spar against Ren. It’s not like they don’t survive, because they do, but it’s been a close call for several of the troopers. Ren doesn’t even use the Force, he just tears through people with his own strength and skill, and he keeps at it for hours at the time. Kylo himself doesn’t care. He hasn’t seen Rey in days, not since she kissed him on the floor of a ship he’d tried to forget, and he’s been trapped in outer space for months, so maybe he actually _is_ losing his mind. The troopers are a poor substitute for sparing with his knights, or Rey, but they’ve to do.  
“Ren, why aren’t you at the briefing?” Hux calls over the noise of the training hall.  
“Nobody told me,” Kylo answers, while smashing a trooper, face first, into a wall.  
“That’s a lie, Ren, the meeting has been noted in your schedule, and my own assistant was here not five minutes ago, but she came back crying.”  
Oh, fuck, that’s actually true, he _had_ screamed at a young woman, but only to keep her out of harms way. He might need to evaluate his choice of wording.  
“I’m coming.”  
“You’re sweaty,” Hux looks repulsed.  
“Do you want me there, or not?”  
Kylo stalks Hux out the door, and he stays half a step behind him through the entire ship, breathing down his neck, enjoying the general’s peaking levels of anxiety.  
  
The meeting is just as boring as they all are. Invade this, regroup that, extract resources, find the Resistance blah blah. Kylo almost considers dropping the bomb and telling everyone that the rebels are hiding on the Forest moon of Endor, just to see the reactions, but he refrains, for obvious reasons. There she is now, his number one reason, just across the room. She looks up, and gives him a coy smile.  
“You’re dismissed,” he growls to the attendants, while locking eyes with Rey.  
The room falls silent, and some of the generals stare at him in open disbelief.  
“Ren, you just got here,” Hux protests.  
“Did I fucking stutter, Hux? You are dismissed. All of you.”  
“But we’re aren’t even half done —”  
“GET THE FUCK OUT!”  
The room quickly empties, and Kylo shuts the blinds and locks the door with the Force. Rey glides up to him with a grin.  
”Your mother is right, you _do_ have a horrible temper.”  
“Don’t you talk about my mother,” he mutters.  
“What are you going to do about it? I heard she single handedly killed a Hutt…”  
Kylo traps her face between his hands, and crushes his lips at hers. He can’t believe she lets him do it, and she’s not just letting him, she’s draping her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Kylo backs her up against the table, and swipes it clean from cups of caf, papers and a few tablets. It all crashes down on the floor, and he lifts her up, placing her on the table top.  
”Force Kylo, you’re so careless with your stuff!”  
“I didn’t realize that the war plans of the First order held such an emotional value to you.”  
She huffs against his lips, but doesn’t argue.  
  
✨  
  
Rey’s unraveled. She’s just fallen down, straight on her behind, when Kylo’s table faded along with him, and now she’s lying on the floor of her quarters. She’s panting like she’s just sparred, her lips tingle and she doesn’t need a mirror to know she has to redo her hair. Force help her, this is a kriffing catastrophe, and it’s also the only thing she wants to do. The last few days, since their last sparring session, has been pure torture. She hasn't been able to focus on anything, making Luke increasingly frustrated with her. Someone breaks the silence by knocking on her door.  
“Rey? Are you in there?”  
“Just a second, Finn,” she calls back.  
She scrambles off the floor, ripping the ties from her loose buns, and swiftly collecting her hair in a single bun at the nape of her neck. She adjusts her clothes, trying not to blush when thinking of his wandering hands, and she’s a little out of breath when she opens the door.  
”Hi,” she squeaks, undignified.  
“Hi! The general wants to..” Finn falters, “do you… do you have _company_?”  
“What? No!”  
“Yeah, ok, anyway, the general wants to see you.”  
“Great! I’ll be right over, I’ll see you there!”  
“Yeah… you might wanna walk by a mirror first.”

Rey reaches the general’s hut a while later, and she had walked past a mirror before leaving the Falcon, finding half of her hair still standing in every direction and her cheeks on fire. After a round with a brush and some cold water, she had been good to go, and she now enters Leia’s quarters with every intention of keeping things together. Finn smiles knowingly when she steps in, but Rey ignores him.  
“Rey, come on in, child.”  
“Hello, general,” Rey answers, “master Skywalker. Hi everyone.”  
A handful of the rest of the leadership leans against the back wall, and Rey waves awkwardly in their general direction.   
“As you know,” Leia begins, “we’re having some serious issues with our finances.”  
A lengthy lecture on the economics and logistics of the Resistance follows, but all Rey can think about is how Kylo ripped his gloves off, before he stepped in between her legs, claiming her mouth with religious devotion.  
“So… what do you think?”  
Oh. The general has stopped talking, and everyone looks at Rey.  
“I’m sorry… I don’t… eh, what was the question?”  
The general gives her a stern look, and Finn tries, unsuccessfully, to hide a snort.  
“Will you accompany me to Naboo?”  
“Oh, yes, of course, general.”  
“It’s settled then, we’ll leave first thing tomorrow. We’ll need some time to find you a dress.”  
“A dress..?”  
The meeting is over and everyone starts to move, leaving Rey frozen in the middle of the crowd. Finn grabs her arm, pulling her along in the stream of bodies.  
“I’ll fill you in, but girl,” he whispers, “you need to get your head out of space.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so blown away by your response on the last chapter. Thank you, not only for reading but even more so for helping me find the joy of writing again. I studied journalistic writing in the Swedish version of high school, but I never persuaded a career in writing, due to extreme performance anxiety (I became a nurse instead, great call 🙃). I’ve always dreamed of writing fiction, but due to said anxiety _and_ me being really self conscious about the way I write (I’ve this picture of fiction writing as more flowy or more poetic than journalism, and my way of writing is obviously pretty economical and straightforward - journalism is basically learning how to kill every darling you ever had), I always stop writing after a page or two. This may not be a novel, but it’ll be the first fictional piece I actually finish in like... 15 years? To me that’s incredible. And it’s all thanks to you and your amazing way of cheering me on. This was a really long way of saying thanks, so again, thank you ❤️


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed we're in the final third of this story. Thank you so much for sticking with me.

The next day _Tantive IV_ leaves for Naboo. Finn had informed Rey that the Chommell sector will have a sit down in order to agree on new terms for the Enarc Run, after this all of them will celebrate and get wasted at the Naboo castle. Since Nabooians, and the inhabitants of the other planets of the Chommel sector, are known for their belief in democracy, there’s a good chance they’ll side with the Resistance, with a little bit of persuasion. Leia, being part of half of the galaxy’s royal households, had been able to land a couple of invitations to the afterparty and Rey, as the last Jedi (-ish), are to be paraded around at the party, instilling hope in the hot shots hearts, thereby securing support, also known as credits, to the Cause. Rey is quite sure the General had phrased the plan a bit differently, but the essence of it is clear as day.  
“Why isn't Master Skywalker with us?” Rey asks, after takeoff.  
“My brother is an invaluable asset, and we can’t risk him. Not that I’m expecting any trouble, but we won’t blow his cover until it’s an absolute necessity. Also, we need someone who can _dazzle_ them, and Luke simply refused to put on a dress.”  
“Was that an option?”  
Leia grins, suddenly 20 years younger.  
“Not for you, child.” 

Rey can’t form words, as they go in for landing at Theed Spaceport. She and Finn press their noses against the window glass, staring in silence.  
“This is your captain speaking,” Poe’s voice crackles through the speakers, “we’ll make planet fall within 10 minutes, please fasten your seatbelts.” The sound of clicking belt buckles fills the cabin.  
“I was talking to you as well, general.”  
“Kriff you, Poe Dameron!” Leia calls back, but she does buckle up.  
The beauty of Naboo is like nothing Rey has ever seen before, not even Takodana is this beautiful, with the lakes, the waterfalls, the buildings, the fluffy greenery, all of it is overwhelmingly pretty. They are met by a well dressed young man, who acts like Leia actually _is_ royal. The general’s heritage is of course well known, but even though the Resistance respects Leia to a degree that’s borderline fanatic, no one knows their way around royal protocol. This young fellow does, along with Leia, who seems pleased with his efforts.  
“Welcome back your highness,” he greets Leia, “if you and your guests follow me, ma’am, I’ll take you to your shuttle.”  
“Thank you Azmo. I trust the house is in order?”  
“Certainly, ma’am.”  
Leia’s entourage includes Rey, Finn, Poe, C-3PO and a handful of rebels who’s name Rey has failed to memorize, and they all enter a small shuttle. The shuttle hovers over a massive lake, and stops by an actual castle.  
“Here we are,” Leia beams.  
“Are we meeting the queen right away?” Poe furrows his brows.  
“No, captain, this is Varykino, once home to my biological mother. The Naboo government has, kindly enough, allowed me to rent it, indefinitely.”  
“This is your… house?”  
Leia just smiles as house staff fills the courtyard, and Rey’s luggage disappears in the blink of an eye. The lake house is enormous, and Leia walks them through it while chatting about it’s history.  
“My birth parents married on this balcony.”  
They could’ve picked a worse spot, that’s for sure. The view is breathtaking.  
“And from here we can see the private beach, a most popular feature for children.”  
Rey stares at the beach, she never knew she could find sand to be so inviting, trying to picture a toddler version of Kylo trotting in the shallow water. Finn once again has to pull Rey along, since Leia declared it’s time for them to see their rooms. One by one their chins drop, and in the end it’s just Rey left. Leia shows her a door at the far end of the corridor, and she suddenly seems a bit uncomfortable.  
“So, I hope you don’t mind, but this used to be Ben’s room. It has the best view, over the lake, and I know you enjoy water…”  
“I don’t mind. Thank you, for giving it to me."  
“Well then… After dinner we’ll try to find you that dress, I got a few stashed away here somewhere.”  
Rey steps into the room where Ben Solo spent his vacations but there’s not a trace of him, the room is decorated the same way as the rest of the house. Rey can’t help but feeling a bit disappointed, she would’ve loved to spy on the boy he used to be, but not even when she opens drawers and cabinets does she find anything. When was the last time he was here? Did he ever come back after he’d left for the Academy? The huge canopy bed is too tempting to resist, and Rey jumps in. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of, the softness, the pillow, the sheer curtains that filters the sunlight into a gorgeous haze… it’s enough to make Rey moan.  
“To be the one that evokes such a sound…”  
“Kriff Kylo!”  
He chuckles.  
“Where are you, anyway? I haven’t seen beds like this since… the lake house.”  
“Yeah, that’s right.”  
“Why are you on Naboo?”  
“There’s some kind of fundraising event tomorrow. We’ll leave the day after.”  
He stalks over, and lifts the curtain off the right upper bedpost. Carved in the polished wood he finds three capital letters; “BEN”.  
“She gave you my room.”  
“She told me, yes. Apparently the view is best from here.”  
Kylo stares at his old name. Rey reaches out, slowly, and brushes her hand against his.  
“Could you come?”  
Kylo shakes his head, as if he misheard her.  
“To Naboo?” he asks.  
“Yes.”  
“Do you want me to?”  
Rey blushes over her entire body.  
“Yes,” she tells the carpet.  
His voice is suddenly strained;  
“I’ll be there tomorrow evening.”  
Rey looks up at him.  
“Really?”  
“Really, _cyar’ika._ I got to go.”  
He starts to move away, but spins around after a few steps, and bends down to kiss her.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmurs, before storming out of sight.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd to dive into Wookiepedia for this one.
> 
> Sooooo Kylo Ren is gearing up for a actual date. Any guesses if it's a good or bad thing?


	25. Chapter 25

Every trooper on duty tries to become one with the walls of the Supremacy’s corridors. The Master of the Knights of Ren is sweeping through the ship, no longer in his training clothes, but in full battle regalia. He’s forsaken his mask though, which one might think would make him less intimidating, but the troopers will argue it’s the opposite, without the mask his eyes bore straight through anyone in his way, promising a gruesome death.  
“Ready my ship,” he’d said to his wrist comm, “immediately.”  
The poor head technician who’s responsible for hangar A34, where Kylo’s private TIE Silencer is stationed, had been forced to put 15 workers, and several droids, on the task. He also had to call general Hux, who’d previously ordered information of any interactions with the dark knight, and the general had screamed in his ear that he had to delay Kylo Ren by any means necessary, an assignment nobody would ever volunteer for. Kylo Ren strides into the hangar, his eyes fixed on the ship, and the head technician takes a deep breath before calling out.  
“Mr Ren, sir, I’m afraid we’re not quite done with preparations…”  
“She looks prepared to me,” Kylo doesn't have time for this crap.  
“Er, yes, we’re just running the final security checks, we’ll be done any minute now.”  
“I don’t have a minute.”  
The technician thinks of his wife, back home, and how he had promised her that this job would end their money problems, and that he would be perfectly safe, stationed on a star cruiser, where he would never be involved in any actual action. He hadn’t known about Kylo Ren when he gave that promise.  
“I’m leaving, right now,” Kylo growls.  
“Just a moment longer…”  
“REN!”  
Kylo turns his head, spotting general Hux, fuming as he makes his way to the hangar floor.  
“General Hugs.”  
“That’s not my name!” he howls, “where do you think you're going?!”  
“Out. You’re not my mother Hugs.”  
“The Supreme leader will…”  
“Never know, if you just keep your mouth shut.”  
“That’s not an option, and you know it.”  
“Tell him I got a lead on Skywalker then, I’ll be back in a few days.”  
“Days?! No, no, no,” Hux turns to the staff, “you’ll not let this ship leave the hangar, lock it down. That’s an order.”  
The staff slowly returns to work on Kylo’s ship.  
“You’ll let me leave.”  
“We’ll let you leave.”  
They all stand down, apart from Hux who’s yelling like a madman. Kylo holds him in place with the Force, only choking him a little, while boarding his ship, this wonderful piece of technology, and blasts away without a sliver of a doubt. 

✨ 

”Try this!”  
Leia’s dragged Rey into a small room next to her bedroom. The room is filled from the floor to the ceiling with gowns, robes, shoes and hair pieces, and to Rey, who owns three outfits (it’s an upgrade from the single one she wore back on Jakku), it’s daunting. The height difference between the two ladies takes a majority of the gowns of the table, but Leia has already forced Rey into at least ten different dresses. This next one is made out of a sheer fabric in shifting hues of purple, dusty rosé, grey and pale greens, and Rey hopes it will check the general’s boxes. She pulls it on, Leia adjusts the thin straps and the one shouldered cape.  
“You look lovely, dear.”  
Rey steps in front of the mirror and gasps. The dress has a neckline plunging down to her navel, barely held together with a thin band across her midriff and it’s so sheer it’s see through.  
“General, I can’t wear this! You can see… you can see my…” Rey gestures at her chest.  
“That’s the whole point, Rey! It was very trendy after the fall of the empire.”  
“Please don’t make me wear this!”  
“Well, it’s been a while since I last visited the Naboo court, it might have gotten out of style... Lets try something else.”  
Leia picks a white gown, and Rey slips into it. It’s beautiful in it’s simplicity, full length, flowy sleeves that narrow at her wrists and a top layer that flows along with her movements.  
“I like this one.”  
“Yes, it’s pretty, but it’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think? White isn’t a very unexpected choice for a Jedi… and I don’t want you to look like a little lamb, I want you to look powerful and maybe a touch lethal.”  
Rey sighs. The general flips through her dresses, while talking to herself;  
“Rey… a ray of sunshine…” she pulls out a dress in triumph, “a Rey of hope!”  
“You don’t think _that’s_ a bit on the nose?”  
“Hush! You’ll wear this one, and that’s an order.”  
Rey grabs the dress with a huff.  
“Yes, general.”

✨ 

Kylo’s zooming through hyperspace. He’s several hours into his voyage, but he still has 14 hours to go. He decides to sleep for a bit, because Force knows he’s not planning on sleeping when he's with her.

✨ 

Rey’s bathing. In all of her nineteen to twenty years she has never experienced anything like it. She’s emerged in hot water in this human sized bowl, while a female member of staff massages her scalp, combs through the knots in her hair and clips her fingernails. Rey had tried to protest, but neither Leia or this hygiene technician had listened to her. She must confess it’s rather nice, being pampered like this, but she suspects it’s just the beginning. And soon enough the technician starts to rub Rey’s face with a grainy paste, making Rey flinch.  
“It’s exfoliating, my lady, it’ll make your skin glow.”  
“It hurts!”  
“Please forgive me, my lady, but the princess has requested I give you my full program today.”  
Rey sighs, she knows better than to try overriding Leia’s orders, this delicate woman would rather tie Rey down in order to scrub her clean, than disobeying the mistress of the house. Next up is Rey’s brows and then a lengthy process of skin care on both her face and every other inch of skin on her body, involving a number of tonics and creams. Next up is makeup, and then Leia suddenly bursts in.  
“I’ll do her hair.”  
“Of course, ma’am.”  
Leia spends an eternity on her hair, pulling and braiding and cursing the length of it.  
“It’s not even half of what I kriffing need!”  
“I’m sorry general.”  
“Don’t be, child, just promise me you’ll never cut it again.”

The dress is highly uncomfortable, but apparently it has the effect Leia foresaw, since both Poe and Finn gasp as Rey comes down the stairs.  
"Rey! You’re stunning!”  
“Thanks Finn.”  
“You’re going to blow the socks off those rich bastards,” Poe grins.  
Finn and Poe are looking quite dashing themselves, with short velvet capes, and Leia is impeccable as always in a deep wine gown with a lace cape.  
“Why couldn’t I wear something like that?” Rey asks on their way to the shuttle.  
“I’m not the show tonight Rey, you are, that’s why. Now chin up, and remember: you’re still at war, it’s just another kind of battle field.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on pinterest, trying to find formal wear for Rey and the others. I've even watched Ep I again, just to get a sense of Nabooian fashion (but 50 years has past since then, so I figure the fashion has evolved, their love for velvet is undying, however). There is so many gorgeous dresses out there, I feel I might need to wrote an AU where Rey and Kylo just throws dinner parties at their lake villa, just to be able to put her in more fabulous clothes.
> 
> [The sheer one.](https://pin.it/jJWID95)
> 
> [The white one.](https://pin.it/6cnuRiG)
> 
> [Leia's dress](https://pin.it/3VlbWmc)


	26. Chapter 26

Leia nags Rey the entire shuttle ride back to the capital, primarily on table manners. It doesn't help with Rey's nerves. At all. A security team meets them when they arrive at the dock.  
“Princess, we must inform you a TIE fighter has landed at Theed spaceport.”  
“‘A’ as in a single one?”  
“Correct, ma'am.”  
“They rarely travel without company… is there a mothership close by?”  
“Not according to our radars.”  
“Have you talked to the pilot?”  
“Yes, ma'am.”  
“And..?”  
“His papers checks out. He told us he's here to see his girlfriend.”  
Rey thanks the Force for the soft evening darkness, for cloaking her heating cheeks.  
“Very well, I guess even bad guys must be allowed to have lovers.”  
Rey’s cheeks are seconds from bursting into flames.  
“Keep an extra eye on the radars, will you, and please give me regular updates.”  
“Of course, ma'am. Have a lovely evening.”  
The four of them make their way up the stairs to the Naboo royal palace, and Rey has never been this afraid. Leia grabs her shoulder and stops her before they enter.  
“Child, I need you to get it together. The people in there see you as the last hope of the galaxy, whether you want them to or not. Carry yourself as if you believe it too.”  
“Yes, general.”  
Rey takes a couple of deep breaths, and contemplates the way Kylo is with his… colleagues? He doesn't ask for their respect, he just expects it, and anything he can do, she can kriffing do. Rey thinks of his maskless mask, and she breaths in again, arranges her face and straightens her spine.  
“I'm ready”  
“Great. Finn and Poe, you go first, me and the padawan have an entrance to make.”

✨

Kylo thought about attending the party himself, but he’s never enjoyed being crammed into a room full of strangers, and Force knows he has suffered through his share of galas when the general was a senator. He's just here for Rey, so he's snuck past the guards (a little hand waving might have been involved) and up to a small niche on the second floor giving him a direct view over the massive doors of the ballroom, and over the few steps that lead down to the dance floor. A bloke dressed in velvet from top to toe stands next to the door, and his job is to thump the end of a staff into the floor and declare the names of the guests. Kylo can’t comprehend the things people actually do for a living. The dance floor is already full of people, and Kylo knows the general well enough to understand she’s planning on making a lasting first impression.  
“Commander Poe Dameron, and captain Finn of the Resistance!” a deep voice booms through the room, turning everyone’s head to the door. It’s the fucking traitor, together with Mr Symmetrical, and they fill Kylo with a sudden need for violence. But then again, if they are here, _she_ can’t be far behind. The two men look overjoyed while walking down the stairs, Force knows why. As they reach the floor they’re quickly drawn in to the crowd, with people acting as if they’re meeting some kind of heroes, and Kylo sighs, the stupidity knows no bounds. The man at the door slams his staff against the floor again.  
“Princess of Alderaan, descendent of house Naberrie, senator of the Republic and general of the Resistance: Leia Organa!”  
Kylo can’t look away as his mother enters, and the crowd positively loses their mind when they see her. Several minutes passes, before the noise dies down and people return to their drinks and conversations. Kylo swallows, Rey has to be next, she has to be. Force, get a move on! Kylo clenches and unclenches his fist and closes his eyes. Deep breaths, nice and easy… Kylo jerks when the doorman starts to bang his staff again.  
“Jedi apprentice of master Luke Skywalker: Rey of Jakku!”  
Kylo has to grab the rail in front of him with both hands while watching her walk through the door. The crowd falls dead silent, as they should in the presence of a goddess, and his mother is a fucking genius. She’s wearing a dress that looks like it’s made out of rays of gold, climbing from her core, over her shoulders and cascading towards the floor. The sleeves merge into a cape, in the same golden material as the dress, and a simple belt accentuates her slim waist. Her eyes are painted in smokey hues, her skin looks smoother than glass, and her hair… Kylo audibly gasps when realizes what kind of braids she’s wearing, his mother can’t have picked _that_?! Rey takes another step and lifts her eyes from the crowd, gazing at his hideout. There’s no way she can actually see him, but she knows he’s there, he’s sure of it. She grins at him, most mischievously, before returning her attention to the room which suddenly erupts in cheers and applauses.

✨

Rey feels like she’s being attacked by people wanting to meet her.  
“I can’t believe you’re actually here!”  
“I thought the Jedi were extinct!”  
“May I take a holograph of us?”  
“Can you show us some magic?!”  
“You’re an embodiment of light!”  
Leia parades her through the crowd, making sure the right people, also known as the rich people, get a chance to chit chat with the now famous padawan. Rey doesn’t really know what to say, but she tries to follow Leia’s lead, and so far the general seems pleased.  
“Rey!” Finn half shouts in her face, “did you hear?!”  
“No, what?”  
“I’m a captain! And Poe is a commander again! She promoted us!”  
Poe slams Finn victoriously in the back, which turns into some kind of embrace.  
“Oh, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”  
“We’re getting champagne, we’ll bring you some too!”  
The two men sprints off, and judging from the spring in their steps, this won’t be their first glass. Rey tries to enjoy the party, but she felt Kylo’s force signature leave some time ago, and she starts to feel restless. A server walks up to her, with telling glossed over eyes, and he gives her a piece of paper. She thanks him, and opens the note, written in such pretty writing it’s barely readable:  
“You look beautiful. Enjoy your night, see you at the villa. - K”  
Ah, great. Force, she wants to leave _now_.  
“What’s the matter, child?”  
“I’m sorry, general, it’s just a tummy ache.”  
Leia arches a brow.  
“Ben used to tell me that lie when he had enough of a party.”  
Rey swallows, hard.  
“I’m sorry, I just…”  
“Don’t worry, Rey, stay another hour and then you can take the shuttle home. Me and the boys will be staying awhile.”  
Leia points at them, the two men are currently engaged in an intense dance off, with half of the crowd cheering them on.  
  
✨

Kylo’s waiting for her on his old balcony. The security of this place has some room for improvement, that’s for sure, but that’s the general’s problem. He’s pacing, unable to sit down and when he finally hears the door to the room creaking he’s walked several miles. She’s carrying her shoes in her hand, and she’s shutting the door painfully slowly, meaning there’s still people in the house. He knocks on the glass door, grabbing her attention. The door is the final barrier between them and she walks towards it, reaching for the handle. Kylo’s jaw clenches.

Oh fuck, this is happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for not letting Kylo attend the gala! I might have to write a version where he does go 😅 
> 
> Here’s some references, because we all love them. I tried to keep it true to what one could wear to a party on Naboo and the I also wanted the braid to be as neat as Leia’s always are - I figured it’s the alderaani way. There will be some braid porn later on, don’t you worry. The ear cuffs aren’t mentioned, but I realized the people of Naboo either wear wacky hair or ear pieces so of course Leia provided.
> 
> [The dress](https://pin.it/7haG5nD)  
> [The braid](https://pin.it/6pL7Tfr)  
> [The make up](https://pin.it/rjeVvLv)  
> [Ear cuffs ](https://pin.it/3zCkVhY)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve freestyled some customs and beliefs of Alderaan, do forgive me.

This is a bad idea, a really bad idea, what if he's here to kill her? And his mother? What was she thinking, inviting him? What if it's all been a scam? He's out there, on the balcony, waiting for her to let him in, a man known for his brutality. Oh kriff, why does she have to be so stupid?! But there’s no turning back now. She reaches for the handle, unlocks the door and slides it to the side.   
“Hi,” she whispers.  
“Scavenger,” he answers.  
He's somehow even bigger like this, when he's actually sharing her space, and she can't do anything but to stare at him.

✨

She looks at him as if she's afraid. She'd asked him to come, but obviously she regrets it now. Of course she does, why shouldn't she? The last time they saw each other in the flesh, he'd killed his father, sliced up her friend and tried to force her to let him teach her by threatening to push her over a cliff - hardly an ideal way to start a… whatever this is. Or was. The silence stretches on and on, and a slight tremble of her lower lip tells him she's close to tears. No, no, no, she can’t cry!

✨

“Did she tell you,” he suddenly blurts out, “the meaning of your braids?”  
Rey sighs in relief, maybe he isn't here to kill her after all. Not until after a discussion on braids, anyway.  
“Yeah, or she was pretty vague, but she told me it means ‘woman’?”  
“Well yes, but not just ‘woman’, it's a symbol of divine femininity. The alderaanii were convinced that the power holding it all together, the Force as we call it, is female. The four braids symbolise the four ages of a woman, and they all connect in the knot in the back, which symbolises the women's direct connection to the universe. A connection that enables women to create new life…”  
“Wow,” she breathes, “you really do need someone to teach.”  
He looks utterly mortified. Oh Force, can't she play nice for one single minute? She needs to salvage this.  
“Do you think they suit me?”   
His gaze darkens.   
“They suit you,” he murmurs, stepping inside. 

✨

He can't take it anymore. She's impossible gorgeous and she's got her spunk back, so he's done waiting. He reaches for her face with one hand, landing his fingers underneath the braided knot at the back of her neck and with his thumb on her cheek.   
“I'm going to kiss you now, if you don't mind.”   
She leans into his touch.  
“I don't mind.”  
It's pure electricity. Kissing her through the bond has been nice enough, but this! This is like nothing else, her lips follow his and the way she grabs his tunic with both hands, pulling him close, drives him insane. 

✨ 

He suddenly breaks the kiss.  
“May I unbraid it?”  
His cheeks are bright pink.   
“Why?”  
“It's a… tradition of sorts,” he actually stutters.  
Oh this mountain of an idiot. How could Luke ever think this little boy would be a threat to anyone but himself? Rey releases her ears from the heavy cuffs and sits down on a chair standing by the balcony door.  
“Sure, go ahead.”  
He circles around her, and she can hear him inhale sharply before starting to undo Leia’s hard work. His fingers brush against her skin, and she closes her eyes, losing herself in the sensation.  
“Is it a common hair style?” she asks, trying to break the spell.  
“Not really,” he answers matter of factly, unaware of the effects of his touch, “most women wear it when they want to remind men of their independence… it’s used for births, divorces, new beginnings… My mother used it when my fa… _Han_ had fucked up more than usual. Not that he ever learned what any braid meant…”  
”Do you miss him?”

✨

Kylo drops his hands, leaving her hair half undone. Fuck her and her fucking questions, he’s leaving, right now. When she realizes he’s heading for the balcony she shuts the door with the Force, harder than necessary, and grabs his sleeve.  
“Kriff Kylo, what’s your problem?!”  
He rips his arm away, unable to even look at her.  
“I’m leaving. This was a bad idea.”  
“Yes, who could’ve kriffing guessed?! But you could’ve said no but you didn’t.”  
“I didn’t realize it would be an interrogation.”  
“Fuck you, _Ren_ , I’m just making kriffing small talk!”  
“Keep your voice down.”  
“You don’t get to boss me around! I know why your mother wore her hair like this, it must be the kriffing Solo-genes that make you _unbearably_ idiotic!”  
Did she just compare him to fucking Han Solo? Her death wish truly is unparalleled. He still hasn’t turned to face her, and he’s not about to, either. There will be nothing but grit left of his teeth if he doesn’t get out of here. 

✨

He’s so unmistakably torn her anger fades as quickly as it had risen. She glides in front of him, trapping herself between him and the glass door.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
He scoffs.  
“Also I didn’t really know Han, but I know the Skywalker’s and I’m pretty sure your idioticness comes from their side of the family.”  
A corner of his mouth twitches.  
“Could you please finish undoing my hair before you leave?”  
He nods and she returns to her chair. She lets him work in silence, allowing herself to enjoy the soft tugs of his fingers.

✨

He doesn’t really remember why he was angry just a few minutes ago, not now, with her loose hair wrapped up in his hands. He breaths in, and out, and releases the locks. They fall down over her back and he sighs.   
“Thank you,” she whispers, “one more thing, could you unzip me as well? Then you’re free to go.”  
“You,” he growls, “are teasing me.”  
“I would never.”  
He finds the zipper, underneath the cape, and unzips it. She gets up on her feet and pulls the dress over her head, revealing a beige silk slip. She gives her head a shake, making all of that divine hair fall as curtains around her face.  
“Well, off you go…” she smiles.  
He grabs her, and kisses her like there’s no tomorrow. She melts into him and when he retreats her eyes are pitch black.  
“Do you want me to?” he asks.  
“You probably should,” she takes a deep breath, “but please don’t.”

✨ 

He lifts her up, and walks them both to the bed, without breaking the kiss. She helps him peel of layer after layer, kriff, how can someone wear this much clothes?! When he’s stripped down to his underpants he falters, and freezes where he stands.   
“Are…” he mumbles, “are you sure about this?”  
“You’re an awful darksider, you know.”  
He doesn’t move.   
“I’m a big girl, Kylo, just get into bed.”  
He still looks unsure.   
“I’m not a good man,” he echos from a time so many nights ago.  
“I didn’t ask for one,” she retorts, “I asked for you.” 

✨

There’s just skin and lips and hands and nothing but them.  
“Ben,” she sighs in his ear and he’s lost, so terribly, irreversibly, _hopelessly_ lost, and he never wants to be found again.  
  
To hell with the First Order, the Resistance, the Jedi, the Sith, the knights of Ren, the entire fucking _galaxy_ , fuck, he’ll burn it all down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo that happened. Billowing curtains, obviously... I hope you liked it! I listened to three songs on repeat while writing this, two by Billie Eilish; Lovely and Ocean eyes, and Dusk til dawn by Zayn and Zia.
> 
> In Sweden it’s now illegal to sleep with someone without explicit consent (!!!), and of course Kylo is a Swede at heart.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting these two to act sappy without falling out of character is so kriffing hard. I hope I managed okay. Listen to “Little bit” with Lykke Li for the general feeling :)

Rey wakes up in the early morning hours, the sun is just about to rise and a dim light pours into her room. She looks at the man sleeping next to her, the galaxy’s fiercest warrior. How’s she supposed to go on, waging a war on the opposite side of him? One day they’ll meet on the battlefield, and her entire purpose in this life is to end him. Force, this a disaster. She scoots closer, and bury her face at the crook of his neck, breathing him in. The nights they’ve slept next to each other has made her grow accustomed to his scent, and she inhales it like it’s oxygen. Kriff, this was a terrible idea, terrible. 

✨

“Are you crying?”  
“I’m not,” she hisses, while violently drying her eyes, smearing last night's makeup all over her face.  
“Tell me.”  
“I just…” her voice breaks, “I just know you’ll leave.”  
“We never said anything else.”  
“I know! I know…”  
He strokes her hair a bit awkwardly, while chewing on his lip. What wouldn’t he give to just stay here, forever?   
“I’m not leaving _you_ , but I need to get back.”  
“That’s leaving.”  
He hums.  
“Does he know about… this?”  
“Snoke? He knows I dream of… you,” Kylo can feel his ears burning, “but he doesn’t know I… see you…”  
“What do you dream about me?” she asks with a grin, giving him a whiplash with her mood swings.  
“Kriff off, scavenger.”  
“Tell me,” she murmurs in a horrible imitation of his voice.  
Kylo sighs. To keep her. Nothing else.  
“Well,” he grabs her neck with one hand, “I dream I get to do this.”  
He kisses her until she’s forgotten the question. 

✨

“Miss Rey, it’s breakfast.”  
Rey almost pushes Kylo off the bed, before realizing the door’s locked.  
“Thank you Threepio,” she exclaims, “but I’ve a headache, do you think it’s possible to get some food brought to my room?”  
“Certainly, miss Rey, I’ll be right back.”  
Kylo points at himself with desperation in his eyes.  
“Threepio? I’m really hungry, please bring lots of… stuff!”  
When C-3PO returns a while later, Rey has forced Kylo into an empty closet.  
“Thank you,” she tells the droid.  
“You’re most welcome. The general wanted me to inform you our ship is leaving in two standard hours.”  
“Two hours...” Rey swallows, “yes, thank you.”  
The tray is loaded with food Rey hasn’t seen before. There’s fruit, berries, bread, tiny pots of honey and jam, a small mountain of cheese and Rey takes a bite out of everything within the first minute after the meal's arrival.   
“Oh Force,” she groans, “this is amazing!”  
“The Naboo kitchen is known for being one of the best,” Kylo muses while arranging a sandwich.  
“Do you have food like this in the First order?” Rey asks, with her mouth full.  
“We probably do have better food than the Resistance but it's not like this.”  
“Then why do you want to go back?” the question leaves her before she's thought it through.  
Kylo chews mechanically on his sandwich.  
”Snoke told me I’d be free… that I would have the power to shape my own destiny. But I’ve come to the conclusion that actual power is the same thing as endless meetings, and Force knows I hate meetings.”  
“Are you free?”  
“I thought I was but then… after Han…”  
His voice dies down, and he stares blankly at the wall.  
“You don’t want to go back,” Rey realizes.  
“No,” he answers, “but I have to.”  
“But why? _Why_?”  
“He's in my head, you know that. Wherever I go, he'll follow.”

✨

They walk in silence to the balcony. He climbs over the rail, but stops on the other side, pulling her close.   
“Can I...” she mutters,”can I be the one that leaves?”  
“Of course.”  
She smiles a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, and kisses him softly.  
“See you around, Ren.”  
She walks away without looking back. Oh Force, is this the last he’ll ever see of her, except for their force connections? He can’t fucking think of it, and starts to descend, with a treacherous heart hammering away in his chest. 

✨

“Our very own hang over-queen!” Finn greets her as she joins the others in the hallway.  
“Ha-ha, very funny.”  
“Is everyone ready?” Poe asks, “General?”  
“Oh, yes…” Leia answers, absentmindedly, “I just… have this weird feeling…”  
“You’re probably hung over too,” Finn grins, before solemnly adding: “general.”  
Yeah, she’s either hung over or she’s picking up on her estranged son’s force signature, who kriffing knows?  
“Let's get out of here,” Rey breaks in.  
The pack of rebels take the lake shuttle back to their ship, and Rey falls asleep the second she’s strapped in.

✨

The travel back to the Supremacy is uneventful. Kylo sleeps for the most part, and the rest of the time he relives the surreal events of the past day. The way her skin felt under his hands, how she’d looked in that dress, how she’d looked without that dress, her lips trailing down his scar while purring “this is mine”, as if the rest of him isn’t, how she’d allowed him to unbraid her hair as if they were kriffing _married_ … he still thinks of her hair in his hands while parking his ship, and when he’s boots touches the hanger floor he still thinks of how she’d melted into his every touch. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t react fast enough, and why the smug face of general Hux is the last thing he sees before everything turns black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi plot twist!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snoke really isn't happy with Kylo so a little heads up (but you know me, it's nothing to graphic).

“The event was a tremendous success, “ Leia briefes the entire Resistance, “we’ve secured enough credits to rebuild a base. The management of the actual transfer of credits is still a problem to be solved, since huge transactions of credits are likely to get noticed by the wrong people, but we’re working on it, and in the meantime we’re looking for a suitable location for our new home.”  
The crowd goes wild, and, after a quick translation from C-3PO, the ewoks join in.  
“I would also like to introduce you to commandor Dameron and captain Finn, with shiney new, well in Poe’s case a bit reused, titels!”  
The crowd cheers once more and the two men look at each other with huge smiles, as if they are the only people in the galaxy. Rey spots Rose, who abruptly walks away. Rey wonders what it would feel like, to see someone she liked with someone else, but it’s not as if she pictures Kylo with some _girl_. She’s not that kriffing desperate, it was a strictly hypothetical thought, nothing else, truly.

✨

“Welcome back, apprentice,” Snoke’s voice trails through the darkness of Kylos mind, “I heard you’ve been naughty? Running away like some teenage rebel?”  
Kylo hasn’t even opened his eyes before the skin of his back rips apart.  
“Fuck,” he grunts.  
“Tell me, what was so important it made you disobey direct orders?”  
Kylo gets up on his feet.  
“Tell me!”  
“No,” Kylo murmurs.  
“No? Do you think you can keep anything from _me_? Don’t you think I know of your little hiding place? I’ve let you keep it, out of pity, but that was a mistake. But mistakes can be corrected.”  
Kylo slams down the heavy shields of his mind, knowing all too well what’s about to happen.  
“Don’t do that, it’s no use,” Snoke purrs, before combining his two favorite tricks - ripping skin apart and breaking into minds.  
It’s usually one or the other, but this combined attack tears through Kylo, making him cry out in pain. The Supreme leader probes and pushes, finding tiny cracks in the spot of Kylo’s mind that’s always been just his. Memories pours out, filling Kylo’s brain with a disorienting fog of pain and snippets of a life belonging to a long lost boy. There’s Han, coming back from wherever, flinging him in the air and tossing him to Chewie, the time first time he flew the Falcon, him helping his mother with her hair, there’s the sound of a lightsaber, his mother kissing his forehead after a nightmare, Rey’s sleeping form on a stone bench… Kylo tries to push his master out, but Snoke splits the skin of his back at multiple places at once, and at the same time he wedges his way deeper into Kylo’s secrets. Kylo lies on the floor, howling like a hurt animal, while memories of her spills out faster than his blood does. It’s her in the dress, the way she fights, her curtsying with that grin on her face, the slope of her neck and how it feels under his lips, how she’d sometimes rolled over from her bench to his bed in her sleep, her tiny hand in his, her scent, the note she left him, her drunk in a dark forest, how her eyes burned before she kissed him, her bewildered face in the rain, her lips and hands, how she tippy toes to reach him, how she’d moaned both of his names… no not that one, never that one, he can’t have it, it’s _his.  
_ “NO!” he screams, pushing Snoke out with such force the Supreme leader bangs his head against the back of his ridiculous throne.  
Snoke growls, and quickly grips Kylo with the Force, gesturing to his guards to cuff him. Kylo gasps, as the Force within him dims down to almost nothing.   
“A force bond, apprentice? Without telling me?”  
Kylo glares at his so-called master.  
“I should’ve cleaned out that corner of your weak mind years ago! You’ve forsaken the path to unlimited power! You cling to your stupid hope of fooling someone into loving you without realizing it’ll _never_ happen! It’ll be your ruin, _Ben Solo_.”  
Kylo struggles to get back on his feet, only to be knocked over by the slightest force push from Snoke.  
“She's planted by Skywalker to spy on you, on the First Order, can’t you see? Her poor acting skills twisted your head, and _you_ tipped them off on Crait! Like an idiot!”  
Kylo shakes his head violently.  
“But you’re right, the Force is strong with her… and since you’re a complete failure, I do need a new apprentice…”  
“No!”  
“If she indeed feels something for you, don’t you think she’d come here if she knew your predicament?”  
“No, no, master please, I’ll work harder,” his begging sounds pathetic even to himself.  
“I won’t need your work, I’ll have hers,” Snoke smirks, “guards, escort Mr Solo to a nice cell. And make sure he lives. For now.”

✨

It’s been a few days since Rey got back from Naboo, and they haven’t seen each other through the Force a single time since she left him on the balcony. Did he get back alright? Had he been caught by some Nabooian security police? But they would never be able to hold him… no, it’s probably just the Force’s sense of humor as usual. Rey takes a walk, trying to think about anything but Kylo, or Naboo or how she’s kriffed everything up big time. Deep in the forest she feels a sensation close to the beginning of a force connection, but it’s muted and more like an echo than the actual thing. But he’s behind her, she’s sure of it.  
“Your highness,” she greets, before twirling around.  
She was expecting to see him in a meeting, fighting droids or maybe sleeping, but she doesn’t. She finds Kylo Ren chained, battered and bleeding and it tilts her whole existence.  
“Scavenger,” his voice sounds far away.  
“Kylo!” she exclaims, throwing herself at his chains, only to fall right through them.  
She reaches for his face instead, but it’s like he’s a ghost.  
“It’s the cuffs,” he scoffs, “they’re Force repellent.”  
“Did Snoke do this to you?!”  
He doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t need to.  
“That kriffing creep! Just hang on-“  
“No! You can’t come, it’s what he wants, he wants _you_!”  
“I’m not leaving you to fucking _die!_ ”  
”I absolutely forbid you to come! Don’t worry, I’m ready for this… I’ve done horrible things… and I got to meet you… really, I’m ok with this, it’s my time.”  
“Bite me, Ren!” she shouts at him, “I’ve told you a billion times, you don’t get to boss me around! I don’t give a shit about your suicidal crap, I want you alive so you better stay fucking alive!”  
He stares at her like _she’s_ the crazy one. And then he fades away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a psychiatric nurse I was horrified by the novelization of episode IX where Ben's content to die and bla bla bla. He was a 30 year lad who'd just had his first kiss with the woman he loved, don't tell me he thought death was okay. Death can be peaceful, and it can come as a friend, but that's when a life has run its course and you're too sick to enjoy it. Young people with the potential of fulfilling lives should never have to think of death as the better option, even if they have done some messed up shit in their days. Death is not redemption and I wanted Rey to (verbally) kick Kylo's ass about it (we all know he can be a bit of a dramatic emo kid from the early 2000's). Ok, end of rant.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s potty mouth gets worse and worse the angrier she gets.

Rey races back to camp. She slams the door to Leia’s hut open, stumbles in and without taking a breath she tries to fill the general, Luke and the rest of the leaders in. Their reaction isn’t the one she was hoping for.  
“A what with who now?”, Poe asks with raised brows.  
“I got this connection,” she presses on, “through the Force, with Kylo Ren and he needs help!”  
“A force bond?” Luke inquires.  
“Yes, yes whatever you want to call it, we need to leave right now!”  
The silence is unbearably awkward. A few of the leaders glance at Leia, but most of them stares at Rey. It’s Finn who connects the dots.  
“So when I walked in on you… you were _making_ _out_ with Kylo Ren?! Are you insane?!”  
Rey turns beet red.  
“It wasn’t like that, and it’s not the point!”  
“It was…” Leia sounds positively deadly, “his TIE-fighter on Naboo?”  
“Well, yes.”  
“And he was _in_ the house?”  
“Yes…”  
“You invited _my_ son to _my_ house without telling _me_? I thought I was going crazy, feeling his presence!”  
This is not going according to plan.  
“I’m sorry! He just… I mean—”  
“Rey,” Luke begins, in the voice he uses when he wants to share his infinite wisdom, “this isn’t what you think it is. Ben is gone, and Kylo is, unfortunately, a puppet under his master. He’s been manipulating you.”  
“What, no, Ben isn’t gone, and Kylo isn’t a puppet, and they are the same fucking person and he’s bleeding to death as we speak!”  
“They’re trying to lure you into a trap. You need to center yourself and calm down.”  
She doesn’t.  
“He’s your nephew!” she roars, “and your _son_!”  
“We know who he is,” Luke retorts, “and he made his choice a long time ago.”  
Rey can’t believe this.  
“So you’re not going to help me?”  
“Rey, even if we thought it wasn’t a trap, we don’t have enough fuel to get our fleet to the Supremacy.”  
“We don’t need the fleet, we just need one ship.”  
“We wouldn’t make it through their shields.”  
Rey is on the verge of tears.  
“So you’re just leaving him? Again?! Is that the Jedi way?!”  
“The Jedi way is to be rational and to accept what’s out of our control. And we don’t use the Force for personal gain.”  
“It’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard!”  
“This is how attachments lead you to the dark side, your fear and anger will make you lose control!”  
“I do not give a single shit about control,” Rey growls, “you said I would have to make a choice and here it is: you can take your horrible religion and stick it up in your ass, I want nothing to do with it. I’m going to at least fucking try and if I go Vader in the process then I guess _that’s_ the will of the Force.”  
Rey’s breathing hard. Leia stares at her feet and Luke seems to be out of words for once. Chewie pops his head into the hut.  
 **“WHAT’S ALL THE NOISE ABOUT?”  
** “Never mind Chewie,” Rey sighs, “do you want to go and bring Ben home?”  
 **“I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK.”**

**✨**

”I don’t understand the Supreme leader’s wish to keep a traitor like you alive, Ren, but here we are.”  
General Hux is accompanied by two guards and a medical droid.  
“The Supreme leader wants us to make sure you don’t bleed out, so you’ll cooperate, understood? Kneel on the floor.”  
Kylo attempts to choke Hux, and he almost blows an aneurysm trying, but it’s no use. Hux smirks, as if he’s the mind reader now. Kylo sits down, trying to ignore Hux’s pleasure in his humiliation. The droid whirls to Kylo’s back, and uses its fold out scissors to cut Kylo’s clothes open.  
“The patient is in need of a bacta tank”.  
“Well, SS-K88, we don’t have one available. Do what you can.”  
The droid cleans Kylo up, and drenches him in bacta.   
“Infection can not be ruled out. Untreated sepsis will lead to certain death.”  
“Let’s keep our fingers crossed then,” Hux beams, “oh SS-K88, please cut the entire tunic off him, we don’t want any fuzz in the wounds, do we?”  
“Correct, sir, but without clothes the patient may develop hypothermia.”  
“Ah this is a gift that just keeps on giving. Do it.”  
The droid cuts the sleeves apart and the tunic and undershirt falls off Kylo’s body.  
“This is against my recommendations,” the droid states.  
“You’re dismissed.”  
SS-K88 glides away, and the guards turn to leave as well. Hux grins, and slaps Kylo with the back of his hand.  
“I’ll make you suffer, Ren, that’s a promise.”

✨ 

“Fuel her up Chewie, I don’t care if we take all of it!”  
Rey runs onboard the ship, and starts the preflight protocol.  
“Rey,” Leia’s voice fills the cockpit.  
Rey closes her eyes, willing herself not to yell at the general again.  
“I think you’ll need this.”  
Something hard hits Rey’s shoulder. She turns her head, and finds a lightsaber hilt in Leia’s tight grip. The woman looks fragile and wary, and she blinks something away.  
“I need you to save him, Rey. I couldn’t, but maybe you can. I don’t really see how, but I trust the Force to show you a way.”  
Rey’s chest feels like it’s imploding.  
“He’s been trying to save himself Leia, he really has.”  
Leia pushes the saber into Rey’s hands.  
“It's mine. Please use it to kill the monster who stole my child.”

✨

The part of his brain that Snoke cracked open hasn’t stopped leaking memories. Kylo Ren lies shivering on his narrow, too short, bunk and he _drowns_ in images of everything he’s lost and everything he’s destroyed. His father is stroking his cheek over and over, before falling and he just keeps on falling and it’s worse than Snoke’s torture, it’s worse than any pain he’s ever been forced to endure, but somehow it still doesn’t hurt _enough_ , it doesn’t hurt as bad as he deserves.   
“I’m sorry, dad,” he whispers, hoping it will reach whatever there’s left of Han Solo.  
“I know.”   
It’s not real, Kylo realizes that, but he clings to it anyway.

✨ 

“I don’t know Chewie, just keep her cruising in real space, save the fuel. I’ll be right back.”  
Rey’s thoughts are a tangled mess of panic, plans that wouldn’t work and a deep conviction that she knows how to figure this out if she just could _think_. The Resistance won’t help, the Falcon wouldn’t be able to fly in undetected even if they had the codes, which they don’t, but how’s she supposed to get a new ship _and_ get a hold on the security codes? This will never work, kriffing idiot, why did he have to go back?! She should’ve dragged him with her from Naboo. And how’s she supposed to search the star cruiser even if she manages to get onboard? A Jedi looking girl and a wookie would definitely stand out among the troopers. So, a new ship, the codes and some kinds of disguise… Rey paces the lounge back and forth… maybe she could steal some kind of transport, and some armor… but she still wouldn’t have the codes… kriffing hell, she needs to find someone who can get her inside! The solution hits her like lightning, and she reaches out through the Force, finds his very dimmed light and pulls as hard as she can. Sweat drips down her face, every muscle of her body shakes and her nerves shriek but he has done it, meaning she can do it too.  
“Rey?” the connection is weak, like a threaded rope, threatening to give way any second.  
“Tell me your knights private comm frequency.”  
“What? Why..? Oh no, no you can’t have it.”  
 _“_ I _can_. I’m sorry about this.”  
Rey is merciless when she claws into his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The meddroid is named after the Swedish shortening of the word nurse (it’s sjuksköterska in Swedish) - ssk, since I’m a nurse, and 88 because that’s when I was born :)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The finish line is within reach people.

“Here we go, Chewie…”   
Rey turns the comm system on, and uses the frequency she ripped out of Kylo’s head. It's just static noise and Rey loses hope for a second.  
“Hey, boss,” a raspy voice cuts through the static.  
“Oh! Hi!” Chewie hits her on the shoulder, and Rey clears her throat, “I mean, this is Rey of Jakku and Chewbacca of Kashyyyk, onboard the Millenium Falcon.”  
Rey takes a deep breath, before making her second pitch of the day;  
“Your master, Kylo Ren, and I share a Force bond, connecting us through the Force. He's been betrayed by Snoke and I need your help to get onboard the Supremacy.”  
“Is this a joke?”  
“No! It’s not! Please, I need your help!”  
“Is it the jedi girl?” a different voice asks  
“I think so,” a third voice answers.  
“If they're shagging, you all owe me some credits!” a forth voice exclaims.  
“How did you get this frequency?” the first voice asks.  
“Kylo told me,” well sort of, “and he also told me your names and where you come from. One of you is called Ap’lek, and you're the eldest, born on Alderaan ten years before it blew up, leaving you without a mother...”  
Rey might have taken a bit more than just the frequency.  
“You told Kylo he would beat Snoke in a fair fight and then we’ve Ushar. You were born--”  
“We get it kid. I've been longing to see Kylo kick that freak’s ass for ages, what do you need?”  
“Ask if they're shagging!”  
“She can hear you, you know.”  
“Right. Well, are you?”

✨

Without his connection to the Force, Kylo feels horribly exposed, and it doesn’t help that he's half naked and chained up either. Where the bond to Rey used to be there’s just an empty void, making Kylo realize that he’s never been truly alone, until now. It’s terrifying, this complete solitude, but the thought of her dying in some idiotic attempt so save him scares him even worse. Surely the knights won’t believe her? And even if they do, surely they won’t agree to help her? They aren’t allowed to agree, and if they do, he’ll kick their asses and demote them all. 

✨

They meet on a small nameless moon with a breathable atmosphere. Rey wonders if she’s gone completely mental, when the six men bring a sense of comforting familiarity instead of filling her with dread.   
**“ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?”** Chewie cries.  
“Not at all, but what choice do we have?”  
The knights take off their masks, revealing men, not monsters, and Rey relaxes a tiny bit.  
“Are you the Jedi?”  
“Well, not really. I’m just Rey.”  
“Rey of Jakku…” the eldest of them muses, “I’m Ap’lek. And this is Vicrul, Ushar, Trudgen, Kuruk and Cardo.”  
There’s a chorus of mumbled greetings, and an awkward silence follows. Rey can’t think of anything to say, but the youngest of the knights, possible Trudgen, steps in and asks impatiently:  
“So what’s the plan?”  
“Um, yeah, I guess you sneak us onto the Supremacy and then…”  
“You don’t know?”  
“No.”  
“Improvisation then, it’s our specialty,” the young knight grins.  
“Let’s go,” Ap’lek mutters.  
Six knights, a defected padawan and a wookie enters the Night Buzzard, and Rey can’t help but to think it sounds like the beginning of one of Han’s bad jokes.

✨

On the flip side, the Force repellent cuffs cut off Snoke’s connection to Kylo’s mind. It took him awhile to realize, due to the whole torture thing, but he doesn’t sense the Supreme leader at all, the lurking shadow that’s been in the back of his mind for as long as he can remember is just _gone._ And without that black filter over each and everyone of his thoughts, Kylo ponders over the seriously messed up shit he’s done in his life. And for what? He’s not so sure anymore. Everything that used to feel so important doesn’t anymore, he doesn’t want power, or victory or even freedom - he just wants her to live. Preferably with him, in all honesty, but she’s smart, so she’ll change her mind about saving him, and go on to have a happy life with someone else. Fuck! Snoke can’t be blamed for all of Kylo’s unflattering traits, because the thought of surviving this, just to be able to choke whatever half wit that dares to touch her, is completely Kylo’s own. 

✨

”We won’t get her onboard dressed like that,” Vicrul squints at her.   
“She needs a makeover!” Trudgen can hardly conceal his excitement.  
“Calm down,” Ap’lek scoffs at the young man, as if he’s a puppy with behavioral issues.  
“You can keep the tunic, and boots… yeah the tights too, but the arm guards need to go, and the belt, and that flimsy… whatever it is,” Trudgen circles her, “I’ll be right back!”  
“Is it really necessary?” Rey asks.  
“If you don’t want to fight your way through every trooper on the ship, then yes,” Vicrul retorts.  
Trudgen returns, with his arms full of garments in different shades of black. He frowns when he sees that Rey hasn’t removed any of her clothes.  
“Get on with it!”  
She sighs, but obliges. She’s soon dressed, with a large black belt at her waist, a cape, a shawl and leather arm guards.   
“Kylo needs a shirt,” she states.  
“We’ll bring one,” Trudgen answers, “you still haven't answered the question…”  
“Shut your face Trudgen.”  
“Oh, feisty! Ok, one last thing.”  
Trudgen leaves and comes back again, carrying a mask with striking resemblance to Kylo's.  
“Don’t argue,” Ap’lek murmurs, forcing Rey to swallow her protests.  
She puts it on, and arranges her shawl.  
“How do I look?”  
“Absolutely lethal,” Trudgen beams, “truly a vision of darkness!”  
“Ten minutes to landing”, Kuruk announces from the cockpit.   
  
Oh kriff, it’s showtime. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trudgen wanted to be part of the Fab Five crew but he ended up in bad company. And that’s canon.
> 
> Rey is initially wearing the outfit she wore on the Supremacy in TLJ, and I picture her in TFA Kylo’s shawl and a great cape because, cape!
> 
> I think we’ve two chapters left. Thank you for cheering me on <3


	32. Chapter 32

“ **WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?** ” Chewie whines as Rey cuffs him.  
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think they’ve wookie-sized masks”, Rey answers, “besides the cuffs are unlocked so don’t worry”.  
“Ready?” Ap’lek asks.  
Rey joins the other knights, and Chewie gets in the middle of them.  
“Ready.”  
The landing ramp of the Night Buzzard opens with a hiss.   
“Act as if you’ve the absolute right to be here, and no one will question you,” Vicrul murmurs.  
No passive jedi bullshit, then. Rey gets a flashback from Leia’s words before the party on Naboo, and she arranges her covered face in the same manner, straightens her spine and squares her shoulders. She kriffing got this. The group of knights descends, Chewie moans in protest, but he’s, seemingly, forced to come along with them. The manager of the hangar, a pale looking female, approaches, and she’s clearly shaken by their presence.  
“I didn’t know you were coming in today, sirs,” she squeaks.  
“I didn’t know we had to report to _you_ ,” Vicruel spits.  
“Oh no, of course not, I just wasn’t prepared, do forgive me”.  
“We’ve captured the wookie that used to travel with Han Solo, on the orders of the Supreme leader. We need to take him to the high security cells, where are they?”  
Rey is impatient, she just wants to mind trick every single person on this ship into telling her where Kylo is. Or she could just rip it out of their heads, she doesn't kriffing care anymore. The manager seems to deliberate with herself, but fear wins over reason yet again, when Rey and her new crew, moving as one, puts their hands on their weapons.  
“Level 5, block S,” the manager breaths between her teeth.   
“Thank you,” Vicrul answers, and leans in to read the manager's name tag, “ _Colandra_.”   
Colandra’s lower lip quivers ever so slightly as she nods. The notorious Knights of Ren stalk past poor Colandra with such terrifying determination it pulls Rey in, and below her mask she’s grinning. 

✨

She can’t come. She can’t. 

✨

They almost make it down to the cell blocks uninterrupted, but their luck runs out when the elevator reaches level 5. General Hux himself is waiting for them, with an entourage of stormtroopers.   
“There’s seven of you,” he states.  
“Yes,” Ap’lek retorts.  
Hux steps closer to Rey, eyeing her up and down.  
“This,” he points at her, “is a female.”  
“She’s our latest recruit.”  
“I didn’t know you were hiring.”  
“Maybe the Supreme leader has better things to do than to gossip with you,” Vicrul wheezes.  
“I find it strange… “ Hux muses, “that on the very day your pitiful leader finally got what he deserved, you show up, together with his former babysitter and an unknown female…”  
“We needed someone to fill up our ranks.”  
Rey’s heart is beating so very fast.  
“Do you know _why_ he’s no longer your leader?” Hux asks without waiting for an answer, “He disobeyed his orders in order to meet with Skywalker's apprentice. Kylo Ren’s trying to _breed_ a new generation of Force freaks with that slut of a Jedi”  
Hux stares at Rey.  
“Take off your mask,” he orders her.  
“No,” Ap’lek tries to step in between them, “you hold no authority over the Knights of Ren.”  
Rey shoves Ap’lek to the side, and stalks close to Hux.  
“I am no Knight of Ren, and I am no Jedi,” she growls, while pulling her mask off, “I am Rey of Jakku and you, general Hux, is a dead man.” 

✨

Is that blaster fire?

✨

The corridor turns into a battlefield. Rey uses her saber to redirect the blaster shots, covering for the knights. Three of them roll over to the troopers, hacking away at their legs, while the others use their blasters.  
“Save Hux for me,” Rey cries.  
It doesn't take long, and soon Hux is the last man standing. Rey rips his blaster out of his hand using the Force and the knights fan out in a circle around them.  
“Tell me where he is,” Rey commands.  
“Never,” Hux tilts his chin up.  
“You will tell me where he is!”  
“Your stupid little trick don't work on me, Jedi scum.”  
The darkness in her screams with the need to kill this man slowly.  
“Defying me will be the last thing you do,” Rey has never been so sure of anything before.  
“So be it.”  
A little girl sold to a harsh master, endless scratches on metal, a man she doesn't know, but loves anyway, falls, a new master who's never satisfied drills her, leaving a man on a balcony while knowing it may be the last time she sees him, night after night after night of dreaming of being found, the unbearable fear of losing the one that did find her. All of it boils inside of her, drowns her, rushes in her veins and she reaches out, but not into the general’s brain, no, she clasps down on his heart. He gasps, and falls to his knees, eyes bulging. She watches as he claws at his chest, with his face twisted in a soundless scream. She holds his heart with the Force, constraining it, feeling it's desperate attempts at beating properly and she tightens the grip just a tiny little bit, relishing in his bolting panic, the feeling of absolute power rages through her, his sad little life in her literal grasp. She looks him straight in the eye and smirks... There’s a ‘zing’, and general Hux’s head suddenly lands at her feet.  
”No!” she exclaims, “he was _mine_!”  
Vicrul withdraws his scythe.  
“You're not like us,” he states, “ending him like that would've destroyed you.”  
Her hand falls to her side and her knees give out from under her. Trudgen and Chewie catch her, as she topples over, and they lower her slowly to the floor. She can't breathe. Her vision starts to black out around the edges, but a strong hand shakes her shoulder.  
“Get up kid,” Ap’lek tells her, “we need to find him before someone finds this mess.”

✨

There definitely had been blaster fire, but it's all silent now.

✨

They split up. Rey rushes up and down corridors, hardly aware of what she’s even doing. Wait, was that… was that his Force signature? It's so faint it's hardly there, but it's like a moth to a flame, the way it pulls her along.

✨ 

The familiar sound of a saber fills him with equal measure of hope and dread. The door whooshes open after it's control panel has been sliced in half and on the other side stands Rey, breathing hard and unmoving. She's almost unrecognizable, but it's not due to her new clothes, no, it's the terrifying wildness of her face. The tiniest tint of yellow in her eyes indicates she's crossed some lines in order to reach him, not that lines matter to _him_ , but he knows they matter to _her_.  
“Rey?” he calls out, but she doesn't react.  
She stands there, with her saber still ignited, staring at him, reminding him of a wounded beast ready to strike.  
He gets up from his bunk.  
“Scavenger,” he rumbles, “get over here and cut me loose.”  
The nickname seems to resonate with some part of her, and she mechanically cuts the cuffs apart. The Force surges through him and, more importantly, the bond between them snaps back in place.  
“Kylo?” her voice is tiny, like she's woken up from a bad dream.  
He grabs her face with both hands, and kisses the lips he never thought he would get to kiss again. When her eyes flutter open, they've shifted back to the hazel they've always been, thank the Force. She clings to him, burying her face is his chest, and whispers:  
“I almost fell.”  
“I told you, I won’t let you.”

✨

The relief of finding him alive crushes down on her, and she just can’t stop kissing him. He winches when she accidentally shoves her fingers in his half healed wounds, but he doesn’t complain.   
“You’re so stupid, Rey, you’re so stupid”, he gasps, in between kisses.  
“Maz told me there was someone who could come back for me…” she breathes, “I think she might have been talking about you.”  
She doesn’t dare to meet his eyes, inside she’s still the little girl that was tossed aside, scared out of her mind of being wrong, that he doesn’t care for her, want her, need her, in the same way she feels about him. He tilts her head up, with two fingers under her chin, eyes so intense she tries to break eye contact, and he leans in, his lips brushing the shell of her ear.  
“I couldn’t come back for you, scavenger,” he murmurs, “I _would_.”  
This is how she dies. Surely, something in her body will collapse at any second, it can’t be _possible_ to survive this onslaught of emotions. He backs her up against the cell wall, kissing her senseless, biting his way down her throat.  
“I told you!” Trudgen’s triumphant voice breaks the trance, “they _are_ shagging!”  
“Force help us,” Ap’lek groans.  
“You better pay up, all of you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there's two quite obvious references to two major movies that shaped my love for epic storytelling. At nine years old, "Titanic" was my first cinematic love, and [the scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeO56DyNsN4) where Jack tells Rose she's stupid is so beautiful and heartbreaking. And Rey pulling off her mask is obviously a nod to my gal Éowyn in "Return of the king". I wanted to once again strengthen Rey's character - she's not a vessel for anything, she's just her own, doing what she needs to do. In my head she's looking like [this](https://d13ezvd6yrslxm.cloudfront.net/wp/wp-content/images/starwars-tros-darkrey-kylorenhelmet-art2-360x360.jpg) when she pulls off her mask, clearly slipping down the slippery slope of darkness.
> 
> Ok, so NOW there's two chapters left.


	33. Chapter 33

There’s chaos for a few moments, when Chewbacca makes his way into the cell. Chewie roars every Shyriiwookian curse there is at Kylo while grabbing him by his upper arms and shaking him violently. The knights fall into their opening stances.  
“No, no, stand down, he’s just a bit upset”, Kylo manages to get out between his clattering teeth.  
Chewie suddenly stops, and lets out a sad cry.  
“I know,” Kylo tells him, “I know I fucked up.”  
Chewie embraces Kylo in a hug that makes the bones in his back creak in a way that can’t be completely healthy.  
“Alright, boss,” Kuruk says, “what’s the plan?”  
“The plan?” Kylo repeats, “I’ve to get rid of Snoke, but you guys have to get Rey on a ship and get the hell out of here.”  
“You’ll not get Rey anywhere,” Rey growls, “is this going to be a thing, Ren? For the last time, you don’t get to order me around!”  
“It’s not safe for you here, but I’ll come back, I promise.”  
“Is he always like this?” Rey turns to the knights, “impossible and suicidal?”  
“Pretty much,” Trudgen grins.  
“With all due respect master,” Ap’lek interrupts, “she’s the reason we’ve gotten this far. She can handle herself.”  
Rey tosses Leia’s saber to Kylo, who catches it solely on muscle memory.  
“Your mother wanted you to have this.”  
“But,” Kylo tries to protest, but nobody listens.  
“Just give him his shirt and let’s go,” Rey finishes the debate, and everyone listens. 

✨

“Isn’t this supposed to be the high security cell block?” Rey asks, “Where are the guards?”   
“It is. It’s monitored by security cameras... “ Kylo answers, “did you run into anyone on the way here?”  
They turn around the corner, returning to the corridor where general Hux and his troopers lie dead scattered across the floor. New troopers have arrived, and they are in the process of cleaning up the scene. They all freeze at the sight of Kylo Ren.  
“I see you did run into someone,” he smirks, before using the Force to rip every blaster in sight out of the hands of their owners, sending one into Chewie’s waiting paws.  
“Is… is this a mutiny sir?” one of the troopers stutters.  
“It depends…” Kylo purrs, “where do your allegiances lie?”  
Oh, there’s a wicked part of her that kind of likes him like this.  
“With… with… with the… First order?”  
“Not with Snoke?”  
The troopers looks at each other, at the pile of bodies, then back at Kylo and his band of knights, and the same trooper squeaks:  
“No..?”  
“Then this isn’t a mutiny and if it were, you would be on the winning side. You’ll not raise the alarm, understood?”   
“Yes, sir, thank you, sir!”  
Kylo marches on, and Rey shoves his shoulder.  
“You’re enjoying this a bit too much,” she grins. 

✨

Kylo has a bad feeling about this, a really bad feeling. Why aren’t they running into any trouble? Snoke must know Kylo got his powers back, but the corridors are almost empty and the people they do meet flee in the opposite direction.  
“I don’t get why it’s so quiet,” Kylo mutters.  
“Maybe they’ve seen the surveillance holo’s?” Trudgen answers.   
“Why?”  
“Ask your girl.”  
Rey’s cheeks turn pink. His girl. Ah, she’s gorgeous.   
“What did you do?”  
“Nothing.”  
Kylo raises an eyebrow and she breaks.  
“Yeah well, I used the Force to slowly stop Hux’s heart, nothing really, but Vicrul ended him, before I could.”  
Force, she’s as messed up as he is.  
“Are you going soft, Vicrul?” Kylo asks over his shoulder.  
“You should’ve seen the man,” Vicrul murmurs.  
”It still doesn’t explain why Snoke hasn’t dispatched his own guards...”  
Kylo is certain he’s leading them straight into a trap, but these people seem determined to stay with him, Force knows why. When they all squeeze together in the elevator, that’ll take them to Snoke, Kylo’s heart does that weird thing again, swelling in his chest, but at the same time it clenches tight. Rey’s hand finds his, and he looks down at her.  
“I’ll help you,” she tells him quietly.

✨

The doors hisses open and it’s already chaos in the throne room. The praetorian guards are involved in an intense fight with someone that’s… wielding a lightsaber?   
“Is that…” Kylo breathes.  
“Luke!” Rey exclaims.  
“Did he come with you?”  
“No! He must be…”  
“Projecting.”  
Rey must hand it to the old man, he still got some serious moves and he’s Soresu-ing the crap out of Snoke’s guards, to Snoke’s obvious distress. It’s like Luke’s dancing, the way he dodges the blows from his opponents, even though there’s eight of them. Luke turns and spots them and he’s sudden lack of focus leaves an opening for one of the guards who slashes down his vibroblade. It goes straight through.  
“Hey kids,” he greets them, “care to join me?”  
“He’s projecting!” Snoke howls, “Get them!”  
Kylo nods to Rey, and tells the others;  
“Focus on the guards, we’ll try to reach Snoke.”  
They spread out, and Chewie, Cardo and Kuruk opens heavy fire at the guards. Their armor withstands their blaster bolts, but the hits are forceful enough to destabilize them. Rey and Kylo ignites their sabers and starts to fight their way through, together with Ap’lek, Trudgen, Ushar and Vicrul. 

✨

Kylo reaches Luke, and three out of the eight guards are already down. Luke grins, as if he’s having the time of his life.   
“Nephew!”  
“Uncle.”  
They are back to back, suddenly without opponents, standing in the eye of the storm.  
“I failed you, and I would’ve again if it wasn’t for your mother and,” Luke points at Rey who Force pulls a guard and meets him with her saber, “your feral girlfriend over there.”  
“She’s not my—“  
“Oh, save it, you Solo’s have always had an unparalleled need for a strong woman to keep you in line. Take care of her, will you?”  
“If she’ll let me.”  
Luke turns, and Kylo follows. He hasn’t seen his former master since the night the temple burned, and Kylo finds Luke’s eyes haunted with years of regret.  
“Please forgive me, Ben, I should’ve known the light in you was enough to fend off your darkness.”  
Kylo falters for a second, his anger is ever present, and not in a single fantasy of meeting his uncle again has he given the man forgiveness. But he knows the price of Luke’s effort to stall Snoke from realizing Kylo was coming, and that sacrifice speaks louder than words ever could.  
“I do,” he whispers, barely audible, “I do forgive you.”  
Luke reaches out and strokes Kylo’s cheek in the same manner Han did, before he fell.  
“Thank you.”  
Luke flickers out of his vision and a moment later his light in the Force follows. Something breaks inside of Kylo, and he roars as he returns to the fight, he doesn’t think, he just follows the Force and guard after guard meets their end. He’s panting hard when the last one hits the floor. Kylo spins around, making sure he hasn’t lost anyone. Several of his knights are hurt, but all of them is still standing, and so is Rey, thank the Force.   
“ENOUGH!” the Supreme leader shouts, and uses the Force to knock out everyone, but Kylo and Rey. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I ever write a fic again everyone will be pacifists because writing action scenes is impossible!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it people!

He never should've brought her here, she won't make it out alive. She tries to attack, of course she does, but Snoke flings her across the room like she's nothing. Snoke may be physically fragile but he's strong in the Force, and Kylo realizes he can't move. Rey can't either, and the Supreme leader drags them closer, with his gaze fixed on Rey.  
“Well done apprentice, you brought her to me, as we agreed,” Snoke purrs.  
Kylo tries to protest but even his jaw is locked tight.  
“She's strong with the Force… stronger than you, I believe,” Snoke’s voice fills Kylo’s head but his mouth is unmoving.  
Oh kriff, he's in his mind again.

✨

“Rey Nobody,” Snoke’s voice booms in her head, scaring her half to death.   
Is this what Kylo’s heard an entire lifetime? It's a miracle he's not even more kriffed up than he already is. Rey tries to block him out, but Snoke flips through her thoughts as if they're pages in a book.  
“Do you think he cares about you?” Snoke coos, “he brought you to me on my orders. You're nothing to him.”  
Rey shuts her eyes, hard.  
“All of your beautiful rage… I could use it… those years of solitude made you resilient, a true survivor who stops at nothing… I see your mind, child, the death of general Hux was quite a rush wasn't it? Yes, I could make you glorious…”  
Dark tendrils caresses her, promising her power enough to save what she needs to save, to protect the ones she loves, and to wipe out her enemies. 

✨

“She'll kill you the second she's used you to end me,” Snoke muses in Kylo's head, “search your feelings, apprentice, you know it's true. You're nothing to her, how could you be? Rey of the Resistance, innocent as snow, why should she care about you? She'll leave, like the rest of them did.”  
Kylo can feel how he's being pulled under, down into darkness once more. Does she care? Has any of it been real? It can’t have been.

✨ 

“He killed Han Solo in cold blood, he nearly killed your best friend, he tortured you and the pilot, he’s called Jedi killer for a reason, he’s done nothing but hurt to you and everyone around you,” Snoke’s everywhere, she can’t think a single thought on her own, it’s just his voice and it makes so much _sense_ , “and do you know _he_ was the one who initiated the attack on Crait? He’s been using your connection to lull you into a false sense of safety, but the man is a murderer without a conscience. He wants you dead, along with his mother, and you need to strike first or he’ll be the end of everything you love.”

✨

“She’s a siren, luring you out, enchanting you to drop your guard but she’ll destroy you, and me, and everything we’ve built. The galaxy will once again be torn apart in civil wars,” Kylo can’t resist, he’s desperately trying to cling to fragments of her, but Snoke spoils every memory, “she’ll be the ruin of it all, and for what? A pair of pretty eyes and even prettier lies? She doesn’t want you. Nobody does, but me. Come back Kylo Ren, where you belong.”  
He’s right. She’s fooling him, and he can’t believe he fell for it _again_.

✨

“Now, fight!” Snoke’s voice echoes across the throne room.  
The eyes of Kylo Ren are pitch black, he looks every inch as the cold blooded killer he is, how could she ever have thought anything else? She does strike first, but he parries and sends her flying with a force push. Kriffing idiot. He’s literally snarling like a mad dog when he stalks towards her, and she grabs a blaster that’s lying next to one of his unconscious knights. She pulls the trigger, but he freezes the bolt mid air, takes one step to the side, and releases it. It crashes into the wall, and he attacks with his heavy blows and uncontrollable wrath. Rey parries, this piece of shit of a man won’t win, she’ll leave him with another scar, only deeper this time. Somewhere in Rey’s mind something clicks. His scar trails all over his face, a constant reminder of their first meeting. That’s _her_ scar, she realizes, and the man she’s fighting won’t be hers if either of them end up dead. He’s definitely set on killing her, that’s for sure. Kriffing kriff, how’s she supposed to fix this?

✨

He won’t take it any longer, this charade of hers. It ends tonight, it ends with her! He slashes down, fueling his blows with the Force and she almost loses her ground. The last time they met, he was all but bleed out, but now, now he’s been spending months on this fucking ship, doing nothing but training and he _is_ stronger than her, in every way. They lock blades at her throat, in the same way they once did with wooden swords, and he sees something in her eyes. Those fucking doe eyes, how can they still evoke any feeling in him? Fuck! Her bizarre hold of him _must_ end! She suddenly reaches out with one hand, and grabs his wrist. The Force roars around them, as their bond springs to life, and every memory of her washes over him like a tidal wave. He gasps and almost retreats, when he realizes he’s an inch from killing her, but she hisses;  
“Play along!”

✨

They fight each other, moving closer to Snoke, who sits cackling on his throne. “Very good, very good, use that rage, scavenger!”  
No. He doesn’t have the permission to call her that. Absolutely fucking not! Rey breaks contact with Kylo, stretches out her hand and uses the Force to capture the Supreme leader’s heart, just as she’d done with general Hux. Snoke reacts in the same way as the general did, he claws his chest, while gurgling something unintelligible. He loses his grip of the Force, and the knights and Chewbacca immediately start to move. Rey looks at Kylo, who’s staring at his dying master.  
“Will you do the honors?” she asks.  
“This is definitely not the Jedi way,” Kylo responds, as he strides over to Snoke.  
“I’m fulfilling Luke’s wish, letting the Jedi die with him,” Rey shrugs, “I’ll use whatever I have to use, now get on with it.”  
Snoke falls out of his seat, eyes wild and gasping for air. The last thing he ever sees is his apprentice reborn, and the blue light of a lightsaber. 

✨

It’s like a veil lifts from his mind, when Snoke’s ever present hold of him abruptly fades, making Kylo, for the first time in his life, truly alone in his head.  
“Kylo?” Rey calls.  
Kylo shakes his head experimentally and turns to her.  
“Hi,” he breathes.  
She’s grinning from ear to ear, when she walks over to him, and grabs his hand.  
“Hi,” she whispers, with her eyes fixed on him.  
Oh, fuck, she’s beautiful. Kylo leans down, she meets him standing on her tippy toes, and he kisses her like it’s the first time. Her strong arms cling around his neck, while his hands roam over her back, those soft lips against his...  
“ **GET A ROOM!** ” Chewie roars.  
“I’m with the Wookiee on this one,” Ap’lek mutters.

✨

They break the kiss, and he actually smiles. Not one of his half smiles or his wolffish grins, no it’s a full on smile, revealing every crooked tooth he got, every eye crinkle, and Force help her, he even has dimples!   
“Sorry,” Kylo tells their audience with pink stained cheeks.  
“Don’t be!” Trudgen is clearly back in puppy dog mode.  
“So what now, boss?” Vicrul says.  
“I don’t know…” Kylo murmurs, “I guess we need to leave, as soon as possible.”  
Rey swallows.  
“Who’ll take over the leadership of the First order?” she asks.  
Kylo snorts.  
“It won’t be Hux anyway!”  
“Who then?”  
“One of his minions, there’s hundreds of them.”  
“So we took Snoke out, but it’ll be business as usual for the Order?”  
“I guess,” Kylo shrugs, “Snoke hasn’t been part of actually running it for years, most staff hasn’t even seen him.”  
“Then we can’t leave.”  
“What?”  
“You need to become the new Supreme leader.”  
Kylo looks as if she slapped him across his face.  
“No!”  
“Yes! I can’t leave, knowing I’ve done nothing for the Resistance and for the good of this galaxy.”  
“But you know I hate meetings…” he sounds like a sulking little boy, being told to clean his room.  
Rey winks at him.  
“That’s why you’ll turn it towards democracy, so that you, in a few years, never have to attend a meeting again.”

✨

Her eyes sparkle with belief in her latest, and craziest, idea. The knights and Chewbacca all stand with her, which seems to be a new pattern of theirs, urging him on, and even though he would much rather spend the rest of his life on a deserted island, he starts to see their point.   
“If I do this,” he mutters, “will you do it with me?”  
Rey doesn’t have the time to respond, before Trudgen yells:  
“She deserves a better proposal than that, boss!”  
Kylo sighs, deeply, and tries again:  
“Rey of Jakku, will you, please, take my hand, and stay here with me?”  
Trudgen holds his peace this time, thank the Force.  
“I will,” she smiles and he’ll probably not survive it.  
Kylo comms lieutenant Mitaka who soon enters the room with a palpable hesitation.   
“Ah lieutenant,” Kylo greets him, “as you can see, the Supreme leader had an… _accident_ , and I’m your new leader, together with lady Rey here.”  
Mitaka’s eyes flicker across the room, winching when he sees the bloodshed and the broken body of his latest Supreme leader.  
“Supreme leader,” he says with a bow, his voice breaking, “and Supreme leader… ess?”  
“Very well, Mitaka, you’re now promoted to Head of communication and your second job will be to inform the rest of the Order of the shift in leadership.”  
“T-t-thank you, sir…”  
“Your first job will be to comm this frequency,” Kylo gives the shaking man a piece of paper, “ask for general Leia Organa of the Resistance, and tell her it’s time for peace negotiations.”  
“Yes sir, right away, sir!”  
Mitaka hurries out of the room, and Rey grabs his hand again.  
“Your highness,” she grins, “and Supreme leader,” she falls into a curtsy.  
“Supreme leader-ess,” he rumbles, as he pulls her close, breathing her in.  
“We need to work on my title.”  
“Whatever you want, scavenger, whatever you want.”

✨✨✨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s a wrap! I’m so incredibly grateful to you who’ve read this little fic, and for your endless support. I haven’t completed anything other than reports in almost 15 years, and it’s thanks to you I managed to do it this time. Thank you for giving me the joy of writing back, it means the world to me. I hope you feel that these two dysfunctional space idiots got the happy ending they deserved, and may the Force be with you ✨


End file.
